Old Compton Street

Lyrics

NARRATOR (spoken) Old Compton Street, Soho. That promiscuous potpourri. That Metropolitan muniicence. That glittering back passage. It's 7pm on a fairly ordinary Spring evening. Theatregoers rub Shoulders with prostitutes. Local businessman, on their way Home, are having one last drink as they collide with a younger Crowd arriving for their first. Chelle, a rickshaw cyclist, is shouting for business SIDESADDLE Join the party on Old Compton Street Feel the pavement throb beneath your feet Take a seat Watch the show Nothing's normal on Old Compton Street Dress informal as you jump aboard Step inside Urges will be satisfied Here where life is sweet Old Compton Street NARRATOR (spoken) A young girl, Velcro, is making her way through the throng to her place of work, the launderette, Soho Sit and Spin VELCRO Life's a circus on Old Compton Street Punks and rockers and the rich elite Drink and eat Side by side COMPANY Fun's contagious on Old Compton Street It's outrageous There are boys for boys Boys for girls Boys for old men wearing pearls No one's obsolete Old Compton Street NARRATOR (spoken) Elsewhere, Velcro's best friend, Robbie, emerges from a doorway LORD BELLINGHAM (spoken) So, when will I see you again? ROBBIE (spoken) You've got my number. Just call anytime you want LORD BELLINGHAM (spoken) I'll do just that. I like having you around. Don't forget this ROBBIE Within this melting pot Some have and some have not A pizza base you stumble upon With everything on COMPANY Every flavour ROBBIE AND COMPANY Try a slice of life Old Compton Street See the flies that swarm around the meat Trick or treat Who can say? NARRATOR (spoken) We join Dana and Clodagh outside the Soho Gentlemen's Club, which they run. They are sisters. They are ugly DANA (spoken) Shut it CLODAGH (spoken) Where have you been? ROBBIE (spoken) College CLODAGH (spoken) College? Who do you think you are, Carol Sodding Vorderman? You work for your lodging, in case you've forgotten DANA (spoken) He'd forget his balls if they weren't in a bag CLOGAGH (spoken) Just 'cuz dad's in prison, doesn't mean you can take the piss DANA (spoken) We're too nice to him ROBBIE (spoken) Aren't I lucky to have stepsisters like you, eh? Twins, not identical but equally unpleasant DANA (spoken) Oh clean the bogs CLODAGH AND DANA Pick your poison on Old Compton Street Girls and boys on show CLODAGH AND DANA AND COMPANY And gay or straight or still unsure Every taste is catered for Here where all worlds meet Old Compton Street NARRATOR (spoken) There's a commotion outside The Prince Edward Theatre where "High School Musical 5 – Sex in Detention" is playing. James Prince, a London Mayoral candidate, and his fiancée Marilyn Platt arrive at the theatre WILLIAM (spoken) Here they are, right on cue BIG ISSUE SELLER (spoken) Big Issue. Big Issue WILLIAM (spoken) Here might be a better position BIG ISSUE SELLER (spoken) Big Issue, Big Issue JAMES (spoken) Damn. I haven't got any change. But here's a fiver WILLIAM (spoken) Job done COMPANY We love to spot celebrities And nobody can blame us Though all too often we forget The reason why they're famous But rolling the red carpet out Is bound to cause a buzz And then we stop and rubberneck Cos everybody does Catch the rhythm of Old Compton Street Where the bright young things turn up the heat Pound the beat, no holds barred SIDESADDLE All cities have the same One street that knows no shame A bright facade whose surface is thin But hard as a nail SIDESADDLE AND COMAPNY Scratch it and sniff But never inhale COMPANY Heads are turning on Old Compton Street Ears are burning while the endless stream passes by Rainbow flags are flying high Try a slice of life Every vice is rife Here where all worlds meet Old Compton Street