Tell Me the Truth About Love

Lyrics

Some say that love's a little boy And some say he's a bird Some say he makes the world go around And some say that's absurd But when I asked the man next door Who looked as if he knew His wife got very cross indeed And said it wouldn't do Does it look like a pair of pyjamas Or the ham in a temperance hotel? Does its odour remind one of llamas Or has it a comforting smell? Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is Or soft as eiderdown fluff? Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges? O tell me the truth about love Our history books refer to it In cryptic little notes It's quite a common topic on The Transatlantic boats; I've found the subject mentioned in Accounts of suicide And even seen it scribbled on The backs of railway guides Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian Or boom like a military band? Could one give a first-class imitation On a saw or a Steinway Grand? Is its singing at parties a riot? Does it only like Classical stuff? Will it stop when one wants to be quiet? O tell me the truth about love I looked inside the summer-house; It wasn't over there; I tried the Thames at Maidenhead And Brighton's bracing air I don't know what the blackbird sang Or what the roses said; But it wasn't in the chicken-run Or underneath the bed Does it pull extraordinary faces? Is it usually sick on a swing? Does it spend all its time at the races Or fiddling with pieces of string? Has it views of its own about money? Does it think Patriotism enough? Are its stories vulgar or funny? O tell me the truth about love Your feelings, when you meet it I'm told, you can't forget I've sought it since I was a child And I ain't found it yet I'm getting on What kind of creature it can be When it bothers people so When it comes, will it come without warning Just as I'm picking my nose? Will it knock on my door in the morning Or step in the bus on my toes? Will it come like a change in the weather? Will its greeting be courteous or bluff? Will it alter my life altogether? O tell me the truth about love Please, come on and tell me the truth about love Come on and tell me the truth about love