I Had - Remake

Lyrics

I Had Verse 1: (Clarky) Cold air.. Bright lights My breath seems cold in the night sky Smoke blows through the wind; while the lights shine And the clock can't clock if the time's right! My life flies by.. thats that I try to write a new track then I scrap that Plus, I couldn't give a fuck if the word stops spinning When it drops in my hands I'll catch that! My mind IS a mess, thoughts shooting past My life IS a test AND proving hard.. I Can't wish for a wish on a shooting star And if i can't pay my rent then im shooting stars! Music.. bars? -but my Hearts all i listen to.. Im blinded by lights but the dark is a mission, too I can't hide lies if the truth stays hidden, too Then I'll regret them things that i didn't do! Bright lights.. Cold air.. A Breeze in my lungs like I'd smoked air.. I'm looking at the world... 'I could GO there' So why am I stuck here.. nowhere? Because i won't dare to even think that? -instead; I'll just head into pitch black.. I see a rolled spliff turn into a roach tip As i smoke it, and sit back Im just one person... in one town In one country... on one round; Planet... in one universe.. In one dimension, im hellbound? Well now? I guess thats a lesson.. Try look at life with that perception.. >> you'll notice how a life CAN change When you grow to a man from adolesence.. Verse 2: (Clarky) Rain Drops.. Dark Clouds.. I can't seem to breathe but my heart pounds.. My hands just freeze while sparks bounce And the voice in my head lists 'unmarked vowes' My gaurds down! -Deep Sweats! The day had to come where I'd meet them.. So how could I say that im ' In Too Deep' -when I haven't even seen 'deep' yet? They Said that I was 'Smart' -A Compliment? Or do they say that because Im confident? I HAD to be a man; and Face the consequence; But my hearts too weak to show confidence! Plus conscousness is miles away..>>> I'll frown tonight; I HAD to smile today! I HAD to get through this in a silent way; Cah I said 'Goodbye' To the 'Viloent' Gage.. Dark Clouds.. Rain Drops.. I can't see a day where the pain stops.. My appetite's lost and the weights dropped; And my face looks thin like ive aged lots! Its that same cost; life's 'priceless' Same old shit; New 'Crisis' Im tryna stay strong and be righteous But I just feel so cold and lifeless! >>>>> Ive got more people judging than are on my side; They must not be in their right minds I've been through more shit; In the last three months; Than most go through; In a Lifetime! And This Life's MINE; You don't know shit! If you KNEW how I felt then you'd notice? And If I never changed? -I'd take both wrists! Because I'm hurting now more than most kids! Verse 3: (Clarky) A Loud Noise.. Quiet Mouth; My Body seems tight in this Violent House Same old thoughts got silenced out Cos I feel so trapped in the riot shouts Im crying out on the inside! On the outside.. Am I still me? I dont mean to offend.. But FUCK 9/11 Cah the 12 of the 9th just killed me! Killed her too.. Its fucked up! No 'accident' .. Just 'Dumb Luck' Them guys try ask if I'm 'alright'; -Like I'll reply with a 'Thumbs Up' You Dumb fucks! I gave up! Not just that.. but I gave Blood.. I GAINED love.. and then I came up wrong; So I guess this song is cos I MADE Blood.. >>>>> A Quiet Mouth.. A Loud Noise.. Its all been a dream for this proud boy.. I didn't give a fuck for the rest of the world; Not if they didn't care for OUR Choice.. A Ploy is what it seems more like; Cos now, NO ONE asks if I'm 'Alright' Now I'm breaking down? there's SILENCE I've Got my 'Tears In The Pillow' & I'm 'Up All Night' I feel so dead and I'll BET it lasts Cos I'm no good with forgetting the past! I was promised closeness and feel pushed away.. So ALL I can hope is we're getting past.. I guess all GOOD things must come to an end.. Although I held on.. And Tried to hope for a bend.. Now Nobody Knows How Much I Love You Nor How Much That YOU HAD Meant..... Damn!