I Don’t Believe It

Lyrics

[WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2 & MAN] La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la [WOMAN 2, spoken] It's not that I'm down on love or anything But have you ever been at a party And got that kind of sinking feeling? You know, like when somebody says [MAN, spoken] I hate to brag But Harriet's and my marriage is really going great It's true, we've really got it together I mean, all day long at the office I can't wait to get through and get home to my little baby [WOMAN 1, spoken] Hee hee hee hee [MAN, spoken] It's like we finally know what's really important in life I don't know how two people can be so lucky [WOMAN 2] I, I don't, I don't believe I don't believe it one bit He's nice, he calls hеr "baby" too much She's sweet, the way she clings to his arm Charm, charm Thеy are the picture of charm and devotion The way he looks deep in her eyes [MAN, spoken] You're special [WOMAN 2] Praises her up to the skies [WOMAN 1, spoken] No, you're special [WOMAN 2] She is so loving and he is so perfect And I don't believe it one bit [WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2 & MAN] One bit! [WOMAN 2, spoken] You wanna know the secret of our marriage, honey? Well, the secret of our marriage is that I am married to a man And he is married to a woman Oh, I know it's unfashionable, but it's God's truth And let me tell you what that means to me That means that I am available to my man I don't care how tired I am Or what I've been through all day I'm there for him And that's why our marriage works [WOMAN 1] I, I don't, I don't believe I don't believe it one bit Her smile reveals a bit too much teeth [WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2, spoken] His face is rather too much like stone (Honeybunch) Drone, drone (Sugarbunch) [WOMAN 1] All I can hear is the drone of her praises And while she's extolling their joy Why is he eyeing that boy? She is so "total" and he is so macho And I don't believe it one bit [WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2 & MAN] One bit! [WOMAN 1, spoken] You see, what makes Herbert and me different Is that we relate to each other as people I mean, when I look at him, I don't see Herbert I see another human being And I ask myself "Now, what can I do for that human being over there?" And he feels the same way It isn't Mildred He doesn't care about Mildred He cares about this human being [MAN] I [WOMAN 2] I don't [MAN] I don't believe [MAN & WOMAN 2] I don't believe it one bit [MAN] Her [WOMAN 2] Voice [MAN & WOMAN 2] Is just a little too tense [WOMAN 1, spoken] We relate [MAN] His [WOMAN 2] Grin [MAN & WOMAN 2] Stays on a little too long Wrong, wrong There's something terribly wrong with the picture [WOMAN 2] Since everything's going so right [WOMAN 1, spoken] He really, really loves me [MAN] Why are her knuckles so white? [WOMAN 1, spoken] He really does [WOMAN 2] He is so open [MAN] And she is so gushing [WOMAN 2 & MAN] And I don't believe it one bit [WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2 & MAN] One bit! [MAN, spoken] Ha ha ha ha ha Marian and I have been swapping with other couples For about a year now And I wanna tell you what it's done for our marriage We find that having sex outside Has actually brought us closer together [WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2 & MAN] I, I don't, I don't believe I don't believe it one bit His / my throat is just a little too dry His / my laugh comes just a little too quick Sick, sick I think I'm going to be sick from the sugar If sex really frees you from qualms [WOMAN 1 & WOMAN 2] What's all that sweat on your palms? [WOMAN 1, WOMAN 2 & MAN] Look at those couples Now she is so rapturous, he is so courteous She is so generous, he is so chivalrous She is so fatuous, he is so unctuous I don't know how they achieve it But I don't believe it one bit!