Is That Remarkable?

Lyrics

[DOYLE, spoken, reading from newspaper] Miller's sayin' in the paper here "After I cleared the dirt from my eyes I could see that the rock couldn't have weighed more than twenty pounds And was shaped like a leg of lamb" [JEWELL, spoken] Ah, hogwash! [BISHOP, spoken] Biggest leg of lamb I ever saw [REPORTERS] Get me New York City Hello, Chicago? Could you put me through to Bowling Green? You ready for the lowdown The real straight poop? Here comes the mother lode scoop Ah! Get me Butte, Montana Hello, Savannah? Could you put me through to Abilene? You ready for the info? 'Cause she's a pip I'm mighty glad I made the trip Cave City, comma, capital K, capital Y, February three "Cave Man Underground" [REPORTER 3] You got it? [REPORTERS 1 & 2] Yeah [REPORTERS] "Cave Man Underground Imprisoned By Rock" [REPORTER 3, spoken, REPORTERS 1 & 2] Somewhere in the cold hills of Kentucky, comma (Cave Man) A caver named Floyd Collins (Trapped Inside) Lies pinned in a sandy cave (A Boulder) By a boulder on his foot, period [REPORTER 2, spoken, REPORTERS 1 & 3] Kentuckian trapped (Kentuckian) For no one knows how long (Caught Alone) Under a two ton slab of granite (Coffin Of Stone) [REPORTER 1, spoken, REPORTERS 2 & 3] The brave man lies in a coffin of stone, comma (Buried While) Trapped under nearly— (Still Alive) [REPORTERS] Seven Tons Of Rock! Is that remarkable? [BISHOP, DOYLE & JEWELL, spoken] That's remarkable! [REPORTERS] Is that remarkable enough? [BISHOP, DOYLE & JEWELL, spoken] The most amazing thing I ever saw! [REPORTERS] Is it incredible? [BISHOP, DOYLE & JEWELL, spoken] Woah! [REPORTERS] I wonder what tomorrow will bring! [MILLER, spoken] Mr. Carmichael, I need to speak to you I have an idea I wanna go down again with a jack and a crowbar I think I can pry the rock off his foot [CARMICHAEL, spoken] You're not serious, Miller? [MILLER, spoken] We have to try something, and soon, sir The one thing we can't have happen is for Floyd to lose hope [REPORTER 2, spoken] Floyd's starting to lose hope [REPORTER 3] —Lose hope! [REPORTER 1] —Lose hope! [MILLER, spoken] What? [REPORTERS] I want the Walla Walla Bugle The Paducah Tribune Is this the Mexicali Telegram? You ready for the lowdown The real straight poop? Here comes the mother lode scoop Ah I want the Alamogordo Banner The Boise Gazette Get me the Bumblebee in Birmingham You ready for the goods? 'Cause she's ready to pop This is going over the top! Cave City, comma, capital K, capital Y, February four "Cave Victim Losing Hope" [REPORTER 1, spoken] According to Skeets Miller [MILLER, spoken] Huh? [REPORTER 1, spoken] Comma [REPORTER 1, spoken] Collins is quickly [REPORTER 1, spoken, REPORTERS 2 & 3] Slipping into a state of deep despair, period (Cave Victim Crying Out) [REPORTERS] Asking For Milk [REPORTER 3, spoken, REPORTERS 1 & 2] The trapped man was heard to cry out, quotes (Crying Out) "Get me out of here, comma (In Deep Despair) Even if you have to tear my foot off!" (To Tear His) Exclamation, close quote (Foot Off!) [REPORTER 2, spoken, REPORTERS 1 & 3] Floyd is reported to be in a state of delirium (Losing Hope) Conversing with cave crickets (And Crying Out) And even begging them— (In Deep Despair) [REPORTERS] "To Hurry, Hurry!" Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry "Pull Me Out!" Remarkable? [MILLER, spoken] Wait [REPORTERS] Is that remarkable enough? [MILLER, spoken] If you report what you see [REPORTERS] Is it incredible? [LOCALS, spoken] Woah! [REPORTERS & LOCALS] I wonder what tomorrow will bring? [MISS JANE, spoken] Lee, there's a fella just arrived from People's Bank And he's saying he wants to help us some with our money trouble [LEE, spoken] Oh, God bless him! Janie, where is he? [REPORTER 2, spoken] God bless him [REPORTER 1, spoken] God bless him [REPORTER 3, spoken] The Collins family is deeply religious [REPORTERS] Gimme the Lackawanna Pulpit The Pierre Picayune Is this the Tallahassee Democrat? Sharpen that woody 'Cause here's the dope Chock full of tragedy and hope I'd like the Ponca City Sun The Saginaw Globe Put me through to the Escanaba Finch Grab that feather And double dip This bird is ready to rip "Collins Family Waits And Prays" Cave City, comma, capital K, capital Y, February five "Nellie, Jane, Old Man Collins, Sitting On Log" [REPORTER 2, spoken, REPORTERS 1 & 3] The picture of the old weathered farmer (The picture of) And his bent backwoods wife (The weathered family) Is a touching one, period (Is touching) [REPORTER 1, spoken, REPORTERS 2 & 3] The virginal sister is a colorful (A virginal) Example of the folkways and (And colorful) Eccentricities of the hillbilly life, period (Example of the life) [REPORTERS] Remarkably enough, comma Although they live such simple lives, comma The Collins family manages to own a car and even wear shoes [BISHOP, spoken] I'm freezing [REPORTERS, spoken] What? [REPORTERS] He's free! [MILLER, spoken] What the— [REPORTERS] Floyd Collins is free! [DOYLE, spoken] Hogwash! [BISHOP, spoken] Hell no! [JEWELL, spoken] Balderdash! [REPORTERS] He's free! [NELLIE, HOMER, LEE & MISS JANE, spoken] Hooey! [MILLER, spoken] But I was just with him and he's— [REPORTERS & MILLER] Not free! [REPORTERS] Skeets Miller— Celebrity Hack! [REPORTERS & LOCALS] I wonder what tomorrow will bring? [REPORTERS] Go on, you know you're yella! Now listen, fella This ain't no literary magazine I only want the goodies The mother lode scoop I only wanna scoop I only wanna scoop I only wanna scoop the poop Ooh Scoop the poop Scoop the poop