Riddle Song

Lyrics

[FLOYD, spoken] Hey, Homer? What's pink and green and flies all over? Homer? Homer, are you there, buddy? [HOMER] What's made of stone But's soft like a pillow? [FLOYD, spoken] That's not what I asked you! What's pink and green and flies all over? [HOMER, spoken] What's made of stone but is soft like a pillow? Where you can lay on top or sink down in it? Where you can get underneath but it don't crush you? [HOMER] Come on, think now You better think now, Floyd Give it some thought now It ain't hard! You know, I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When a day wasn't done if we didn't raise hell And the sun put us under a magic spell [HOMER, spoken & FLOYD, spoken] Huh? You're a dumbass, you know that? You must be the dumbest-ass ever— (Shut up, I got it) [HOMER, spoken] Well? [FLOYD, spoken] Sand! [HOMER, spoken] Sorry [FLOYD, spoken] But it's made of stone and soft like a feather You can lay on top or sink down in it [HOMER, spoken] Yeah, but that ain't this riddle and you ain't got it yet So keep thinkin', and use your brain this time [FLOYD, spoken] Unh [HOMER, spoken] What's made of stone but's soft like a pillow? [FLOYD, spoken] I done told you already, Homer I said "sand," like the Great Sand Cave! [HOMER, spoken] And I said, "Sorry" What's made of stone but is soft like a pillow? Where you can float on top or dive down in it? Where you can sink underneath but it don't crush you? [HOMER] Come on, think now You better think now, Floyd Give it some thought, now It ain't hard! You know, I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When you'd say to me "Homer, are you ready, are you set?" And I'd say to you "Floyd, are you ready to get wet?" [FLOYD] Oh, I know! What's soft just like a pillow Made of rock, carved in stone? [HOMER, spoken] Uh huh [FLOYD] The answer to the riddle surely is the quarry [FLOYD & HOMER] The quarry! [FLOYD] The sun beatin' down on our faces all blisterin' hot, Homer We'd run off alone to our own secret spot, Homer Under the shade 'side our old fishin' hole We'd each have some worms and an old fishin' pole [HOMER] With school far away like it weren't there at all, Floyd We'd hook for a day and we'd sure as hell have us a ball, Floyd Go for a swim just to cool off our hide Float on top with the sky open wide [FLOYD, spoken] All right, okay— I got one for you [HOMER, spoken] Mmm hmm [FLOYD, spoken] What's got a trunk and a tail and fifty limbs? [HOMER, spoken] Shh, I'm concentratin' on diggin', Floyd [FLOYD, spoken] You ain't concentratin', you fibber You're just a wee bit slow in the head Just like you always was, a wee bit slow What's got a trunk and a tail and fifty limbs? That you can ride all day but you don't go nowhere Only front to back, to and fro? [FLOYD] Come on, think now You better think now, Homer Give it some thought now It ain't hard You know, I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When a day didn't pass that you couldn't catch us tryin' To ride it high 'til it felt like flyin' [HOMER] Oh, I know! The answer to the riddle— Trunk and a tail and fifty limbs [FLOYD, spoken] Uh huh [HOMER] The answer to the riddle surely is our swing tree [FLOYD & HOMER] The swing tree! [HOMER] We'd shimmy on up Like an Indian huntin' a squirrel, Floyd [FLOYD] Da, da, dacky dicky da Da, da, dacky dicky dicka [HOMER] Up to the crook Where we could look down on the world, Floyd [FLOYD] Da, da, dacky dicky da Da, da, dacky dicky dicka [HOMER] Out on a limb Where that old rope was hung High above the water Waiting to be swung [FLOYD] Da, da, dacky dicky da [FLOYD & HOMER] Da, da, dacky dicky dicka Slide down the rope And my legs start to pump, Homer / Floyd [FLOYD] Da, da, dacky dicky da [HOMER] Da, da, dacky dicky dicka [FLOYD & HOMER] My heart starts to pound And my head starts to thump, Homer / Floyd [HOMER] Da, da, dacky dicky, da [FLOYD] Da, da, dacky dicky dicka [FLOYD & HOMER] Higher and higher I'm swingin' along We'd get to singin' that old swingin' song Da, da, dacky dicky da Da, da, dacky dicky dicka Da, da, dacky dicky da Da, da, dacky dicky dicka Da, da, d'licky dicky dicka Da, da, d'licky dicky dicka Da, da, d'licky dicky dicka Da, da, d'licky dicky dicka [FLOYD] And when I don't weigh nothin' Light as air, I let go Spinnin' off and flippin' over All that water far below And I open up for my swan dive My spread eagle My Jesus-on-the-cross! For thine is the kingdom And the power and the glory Forever and ever through the flashin' sun Ever and ever Over and over Fallin' Into that black water And that rock, stickin' up and comin' at my face That cold, black grave Cold grave Grave [HOMER, spoken] Floyd? Floyd, come on back now It's me, buddy Come to your rescue Now you just lie there and rest 'Cause I'm about to get you free Now, here's the final riddle, Floyd See if you can answer me this What's strong as a bull, smart as a fox Quick as a hare and stubborn as a mule? Can make like a snake through the tiniest hole Get hung up for days and turn out fine? [HOMER] Lookee here, now There ain't no two ways about it You don't have to worry at all We're almost there! You know, I know you know I'm a-harkenin' back to a time ago When a day didn't end that we didn't help each other Kinda like a friend and kinda like a brother And it don't matter none if it's me or if it's you There ain't no hole that we can't pull through! [FLOYD & HOMER, spoken] Ha ha ha ha! [FLOYD] I know! [HOMER] Hot damn! [FLOYD] Yes sir! [HOMER] Oo-ee! [FLOYD] It's good to see you, Homer! [HOMER] We better clean you up Before they take your picture! [FLOYD] You's just as ugly as you ever was! What took you so damn long? Talkin' too much like you always are [HOMER] What's black and fast and shiny? [FLOYD] Fast enough to make a panther squall? [HOMER] Who's gonna be there in it? [FLOYD] Lookin' fine and sittin' tall [HOMER] Straight to Louisville, who will tear? [FLOYD] Far away from the toil and care [HOMER] With money to burn [FLOYD] On a hell of a spree [HOMER] The devil to pay? [FLOYD & HOMER] It's plain to see That's an easy one That's us! That's us!