You Think You’ve Got Problems

Lyrics

I'd like to tell you a story About what it's like to be a walking hypochondriac in the 1990's Oh but I can't 'cause... I'm not feeling good I think I'm coming down with something Something serious And I'd like to tell you a story About what it's like to be the pessimistic voice in the crowd everywhere I go Oh but I can't 'cause... what difference would it make? Everything would still be as terrible as it is right now So why go on living? I'd like to tell you a story About how I've alienated everybody I've ever met in my whole entire life Nah, but I can't 'cause... 'Cause you're so stupid You probably don't even know what a big word like "alienate" even means! Life is hard Life is rough Life is cruel Life is tough Oh, like a dog stuck in a tree I've been abandoned by humanity And I'd like to tell you a story About how hard it is for me to concentrate I'm so easily distracted every time I try to do my work Nah, but I can't tell you about that 'cause.... Ooh! when did I break that nail? Damn, I hate when that happens And I'd like to tell you a story About how I can't ever seem to make a decision these days I've become so undecided about everything Nah but I can't cause... Oh yes I can! No I can't... Yes, I can... No! No No No And I'd like to tell you a story About how it feels to be extremely PMS right now Ah but I can't... 'cause I don't feel like it! Life is hard Life is rough Life is cruel Life is tough Oh, like a dog stuck in a tree Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, woe is me I really do think I'm coming down with something I think I've got that chronic fatigue syndrome The yuppie flu I'd like to tell you all about it... But I'm too tired