What Was I Thinking?

Lyrics

[Spoken intro] This is a brand new song, I've never performed it, this next one, so I don't know, it could be terrible, I'm not sure But I'm just gonna try it out, OK? Here we go [Verse 1] It was a last-minute invitation I did not have a thing to wear I ran into the store, I said "I need something black, something formal Other than that, I don't care" I made it to the theater as the lights dimmed The first act was brilliantly fun When I caught my reflection during intermission I thought, "What have I done?" [Chorus] What was I thinking? What was I blind? When I bought this outfit I must have been out of my mind What was I thinking? Look at this dress I'm taking up drinking My life is a mess [Verse 2] My good friend said "I know you're going to love him I've known him for a long, long time And if I wasn't happily married myself In a heartbeat I would try to make him mine" So I figure, I'll take my chances I mean really, what harm could it do? Makes you wonder about your good friends and their motivations When something like this happens to you [Chorus] What was she thinking? Who is this guy? Maybe I will choke on this pork chop And conveniently die What was I thinking - I mean what was she thinking? Quick, sharpen this knife I'm taking up drinking And I'm thinking of ending my life [Bridge] Ach du lieber [?] [?] Que lastima! [Spoken] I just threw that in to try to make it like a world music song 'cause I hear that's gonna be the next big thing to take over the pop charts and I wanna be part of it [Verse 3] Oh it was late, I had insomnia The TV stair stepper started to look good I thought to myself, "Should I buy it?" I heard Bruce Jenner's voice say "Yes, you should" And that snackmaster and that bald-headed man spray And that Victoria Jackson makeup kit Now I can barely get around my apartment It's so full of all this stupid stuff [Chorus] What was I thinking? Look at this junk! I can't blame this on drinking I have never- hardly- I Right now I'm not drunk! What was I thinking? When will this end? What was I thinking? When will this end? What was I thinking? This song has no end What was I thinking? OK, that's the end