Regretting What I Said... (Live)

Lyrics

[Intro] And this is a request It says, "Please play 'A Musical Apology'" Okay! This is... These are the therapists clapping This one has a really long song title, so bear with me It's called "Regretting What I Said to You When You Called Me 11 O'Clock on a Friday Morning To Tell Me That at 1 O'Clock That Very Same Afternoon You're Going to Leave Your Office Go Downstairs on the Street To Hail a Cab to Go Out to the Airport to Catch a Plane To Go Skiing in the Alps for Two Weeks Not That I Wanted to Go With You I Was Not Able to Leave Town I'm Not a Very Good Skier I Could Not Expect You to Pay My Way But After Going Out With You for Three Years I Don't Likе Surprises!" You know, you guys ever do that? Likе, you know, your girlfriend always gets mad When, like, you go off and do something with the guys So you figure "I'll tell her when I'm on my way to the airport And this way, she won't have any time to get upset" Ha ha ha ha! But anyway, it's, it's subtitled "A Musical Apology" 'Cause after I hung up the phone I started to have second thoughts [Verse 1] I didn't mean it when I said, "I hope The cable in the elevator snaps When you step on board" And I was joking when I said "I hope you crack your head And get mangled by the downstairs revolving doors" And I was kidding when I said, "I hope The number 103 bus Hits and makes a pancake out of you" I'm sorry, I'm sorry But isn't it amazing what a woman in love will do? [Verse 2] And I really don't want to see your taxi On the 59th Street Bridge Flip over and crash through the rail And I'd feel bad if at the airport you were Mistaken for a local sex offender Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in jail And I really don't want to see you getting radiation poisoning From the metal detector that all passengers on Foreign and domestic flights must walk through I'm sorry, forgive me For all the mean things I said to you [Bridge] You thought I didn't have a temper Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise! But I really don't want to see you Dismembered by the marijuana sniffing dogs When a simple little nipping would suffice Would suffice [Verse 3] And I'm sorry that I said, "I hope The flight attendant spills scalding hot coffee on your lap As the plane carries you away from me" And I'm sorry that I said "I hope you break both legs On the mountain while you ski" And I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said about your mother Even though we both know they're true I'm sorry, forgive me I'm swallowing my pride I'd feel so guilty if you died Oh, I'm sorry but I'm still mad at you