On My Way to Hooterville (Pt. 1)

Lyrics

I don't make things up I just make 'em rhyme So no one will get hurt Let's start with "Once upon a time" I did a concert in a quaint little theater Next to a charming AirBnB If I thanked them from the stage I could stay for free The people who had the room before me Were a couple of cute newlyweds Who loved each other madly And loved the king size bed Ooh king size bed, thank you The owner said, "I'd bеt good money You'll have sweet dreams tonight" I did and thе next afternoon I did what I thought was right I stripped the bed to make it easy to prepare For whoever stayed there next But what fell out of the blankets and sheets Left me perplexed A blindfold, blue BVDs Size XXXL A skimpy baby doll nighty Furry handcuffs as well (What did I sleep on?) I can't ask for a refund 'cause I never paid What do I do with the remnants of This newlywed love parade I could pack 'em into my suitcase Give airport security a thrill When they go through my luggage On my way to Hooterville What did I sleep on? I left those goodies all tangled up In the blankets and sheets on the floor I left the "Maid Service Requested" sign Danglin' from the door I left that night in an Uber The driver said, "get in the front seat" Did I mind if we stopped at a drive-thru He was hungry, he had to eat Then he leaned over looked me in the eye And said "I can't see in the dark" Riding shotgun with him Was like taking a spin In a dangerous amusement park He confided that he had no money And if I would I pay for the food He'd give me a ride to the airport free Well that put me in a mood 'Cause everybody knows The Uber charge is automatic But I had to let that on go At the airport I told him drive only in daylight He said "I know I know!" I waved goodbye he put the car in gear Disappeared into a dusty cloud Checkin' me out in the rear view mirror Crankin' Rush Limbaugh up loud It's a brave new world where anyone Can be a taxi or a AirBnB Gonna think twice next time I'm offered something free Life can be one long journey First up, then all downhill But for me it's little adventures On my way to Hooterville What did I sleep on? I can't see in the dark