Good Thing SHE Can’t Read My Mind: A Dude’s Eye View

Lyrics

A dude's-eye view I am at a shopping mall I do not like shopping malls But she loves shopping malls And I love her Each time she stops to look at shoes I'm reacquainted with the blues By the groans I hear There are men here Who I think concur I wanted to stay home today To watch the Green Bay Packers play A monumental pigskin contest Of the manly kind Instead I'm at a shopping mall I can't stand shopping malls It's a good thing she can't read my mind Sure I'll hold your purse while you try that on No, I don't think it makes you look f ... I am at a craft fair I do not like craft fairs But she loves craft fairs And I love her There's topiary, origami Face painting, scrapbooking And her favorite ... Dreamcatchers! What the hell's a dreamcatcher? What the hell is decoupage? Rug hooking? Now that's something I might get behind I can't stand craft fairs I am at a craft fair It's a good thing she can't read my mind Learn to make my own soap? How did you know that's been my dream? I am not complaining I'm just making observations Expanding your horizons is a sign of sophistication I'm in a tai chi class every Sunday morning Though sometimes thoughts of boxing Overcome me without warning I am at a chick flick I do not like chick flicks But she loves chick flicks And I love her Uh-oh it's a double bill Now I'm really feeling ill It's "Beaches" followed by "The Way We Were" Now I'm in an awful mood Plus I'm eating awful food When all I wanted was to kick back and unwind I can't stand chick flicks I'm gonna watch two chick flicks It's a good thing she can't read my mind Tomorrow night is "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Terms Of Endearment"? Oh ... pinch me ... So if you see me at a chick flick See me in a craft booth See me at a shopping mall wallowing in despair Don't feel sorry for me I must be in love Why in the hell else would I be there? Before I met her life was dull I never took any chances Now I leap at every opportunity I find I do not like chick flicks I don't like craft fairs can't stand shopping But maybe I will in time Maybe I will in time Join your book club? Oh sure, I'd love to ...