Scared

Lyrics

I got A part of me broken I'm guarding myself From the scars I'm exposing Harder to feel I'm at peace With My heart in the open Harder to breathe Through the sparks of weed But it's help When i harbor commotion As a Spartan I need to be hard as can be But it hurts To discard my emotions Pressed for the bottle that caught The tears off me quietly Fear of sobriety Years of the tyranny Clear as a day with no thunder Here I am tryna be The calm before the storm I'm constantly at war I stand for me dеnying blame But never lеarn to build Understandably while hiding pain I never learn to heal With The phantom of my lies Will haunt my brain until revealed And until my bed is made I'll spend these days With waves of guilt From the Pit of confinement I could see the spots of truth By just Digging through my dirt You'll see a heap of toxic roots See the purity is gone And Insecurity run loose With every issue that arises It's get buried in excuse Inside my soul I pray my body don't turn cold Before i learn to face my problems I pray someday I gain control Take me as i am I been flawed Hold my hand Don't let me fall I been scared for my whole life Scared, scared for my whole life Scared for my whole life Scared for my whole life Scared for my whole life Scared, scared for my whole life Scared of commitment Scared that these women Might destroy the inner wiring Of our future In this shared existence Scared of addiction Scared that my usage And abuses in my plight Could send me right back To my doomed position Scared of decisions Scared that the Pressures that consumes Me in the night Gon push this knife End my truth This instant Scared of assistance Scared that me asking you for help Gon show my weaknesses While my pride Gon make me move against it I wear this mask out daily I keep my feelings silent I scream to show my strength I don't like being violent I hate that fact I'm hardened Can't even get emotional Don't try open up to me I'm just gon fucking ghost you Don't say you proud of me That's just gon jam me up If it start crying Do that mean I'm still not man enough And All this time My pain rejected all the years Was just an effort to find greatness And acceptance amongst my peers Take me as i am I been flawed Hold my hand Don't let me fall I been scared for my whole life Scared, scared for my whole life Scared for my whole life Scared for my whole life Scared for my whole life Scared, scared for my whole life Scared that Scared of affection You say that we should be together But i mess round with these hoes Cause you not leaving me Scared of acceptance My family passing and I'm Acting Like they death ain't even phase me As of recently Scared of progression Knowing that growth Can being uncomfortable I choose to stay as stagnant As i need to be Scared of the questions That could dispel the waves Of trauma in my body That's been warring With my frequently Due to the fear I try perpetuating strength In hopes it's mask away the weakness That's been desecrating since And with God Who barely speak Scared of the distance I watch you grow out of yo trauma Scared of progression Scared of Scared of distance Cathartic explosions I've guarded myself from The harbored commotion Harder to feel I'm at ease With my heart in the open Harder to breathe In a garden of weeds Let alone Lead my heart w/ emotion If the scars on my seams Get to large in my Genes Then my seeds Will be barred with necrosis Death to the bottle The caught the tears off me quietly Fear of sobriety Year of the Tyranny Clear as day with no Thunder Here am I'm tryna to be The Calm before the storm My momma as warned That the man who Stands behind his shame Is thrown beneath the blade That man who tries denying pain Is lonely and afraid The phantom of my Iris Is ghost from which i came I descended from a violence Mixed with hopelessness and rage From the pit of my confinement Im bequeathed a flash of signs Through the Easel of my paintings Grew a Cistine chapel mind Writing 16's in my momma house Since 15 all this time Was the closest shit to freedom From these demons that reside Inside my Soul I pray my body Don't turn cold I hope learn To face my problems I pray i never lose control Take me as I am Cause i been flawed Hold my hand Don't let me fall I been scared For my whole life