Skin

Lyrics

[Sampled Intro: child reading poem] When I was going up the stairs I met a man, who wasn't there He wasn't there again today I wish I wish, he would go away [Intro: Chino XL & Therapist] Mr. Barbosa, it's a brave step you coming to get help and I commend you for that But we got to figure out what you want uh-huh What do you really want? yo, c'mon [Verse 1: Chino XL & Therapist] Dreams of my grandmother's house, that's where you felt the safest The word "therapist," split it in half "the rapist" Yo who the fuck are you to analyze my behaviors? Oh I promise you all this anger you showing is anguish I guess I wasn't ready to be so famous But you couldn't live with yourself if you had remained nameless It's been me, myself and I all my life Now I'm in this psychiatrists tryna explain what we write Explain whether I'm black or I'm white Explain crying myself to sleep every night, explain slashing my wrists with a knife Too high, Icarus flight, niggas is right I'm the lowest form of human being, for being different For being gifted, for feeling iffy about writing verses with no meaning In relationships you're showing too much feeling Why would any woman treat you better than you said You were treated by your own mother? I heard out of the mouth of a 25-year-old woman without the initiative to wanna move out of her momma's house But claiming she wanna be my spouse Questions unanswered by psychiatric profession My little cousin's an alter boy but some priest altered that boy During confession, I think a gun's a better investment But you stepped into my practice right now seeking direction It's the end of your session See this weapon? I ain't ready to leave ('fore I have seen the enemy) [Chorus: Chino XL] I just want to be safe in my own skin (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe} I just want to be happy again (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe} But I'm so fucked up I don't even wanna deal with myself, anymore (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe in my own skin} [Verse 2: Chino XL & Therapist] Finally I'm ready to be safe in my own skin I'm tired of searching for love I never got. Until you rocked Yeah, Chino XL took over to protect Derek Barbosa Okay, now we're gettin closer I was an only child and they bought me Monopoly That takes at least three people to play it, that wasn't stopping me Wasn't hard for me to be more than one person Rehearsing at 7 years-old, Brad Pitt in "Fight Club"'s Tyler Durden Behind close curtains, That's it! Every time a child suffers a trauma the personality splits I seen it in cases where women are raped It's like the spirit leaving the body as some form of escape It never comes back quite the right way Creating a person to save 'em you might say But enslaves me in another way, I'm like a 28-year-old runaway Mr. Barbosa, could you please put the gun away? I wanna end it like Hitler, cyanide and a bullet at the same time I mean he is the same zodiac as mine Let's talk about your mom, what about my mom? What about a mom and all the closest friends that she lost in Vietnam Does that excuse her for being such a selfish bitch? Or letting my grandfather die on a park bench? Freezing cold from a heart attack on Christmas His heart broken like some Greek wedding dishes Are you happy Doctor hearing all my business? Well here's more, right now I don't know where one of my kids is I've been forbidden for visiting where the baby lives Craziness the decision, the crib's in a place that's dangerous Admittedly it wasn't a child that I wanted Right now I miss her so much that I wanna vomit Drowning my sins in a gin and tonic Yeah but when you pick up the bottle to drink out of it, it really drinks out of you True, Metaphor, the most powerful of right hemisphere techniques But your case, it's ruining you [Chorus: Chino XL] I just want to be safe in my own skin (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe} I just want to be happy again (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe} But I'm so fucked up I don't even wanna deal with myself, anymore (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe in my own skin} [Verse 3: Chino XL & Therapist] Yo Doctor, do you really deserve to get paid for what you think? Do you lack in manhood, is that why they call you a shrink? Heard Mariah's one of your clients, but her breakdown's persist? Behind her back do you ever just call her, "Crazy bitch?" You are prone to depression, that don't take a genius to see You call this your practice, you ain't practicing on me As a child they gave me Ritalin to calm down As a grown man record companies keep fiddling with my sound My abandonment issues run deeper than you know I'll tell you all about it on my next album, I promise My family ain't ready for me to be that honest It'll change everything like yoga changed Madonna Like India changed Alanis, staring at my reflection like I'm Adonis But Derek, why you so angry and violent? I'm a broken machine My past is water under the bridge but the lies have poisoned it from upstream It's that sad of a dream that can shatter the mind of a child And destroy the thing that holds him together by string Feeding off my own emotion now my girl split I'm sorry Doctor, I'm just nuttier than squirrel shit Maybe not, you cannot give in to global consciousness Or your individuality will be dead like Charles Bronson is Manuel Barbosa, that's who my father is Fellow misogynist, he's still in the Bronx, let him know Chino accomplishes monstrous ghetto concertos, respected artist like Mozart is But he could've alleviated some of the hardships My prognosis, when you're confronted with a difficult situation You have failure to regulate the correct emotional reaction Causing unnecessary depression or anger towards normal things that would happen The doctor started laughing, I asked "Why you offending me?" He said, Do you realize that you've invented me? You're alone in this room and I think you need some help I really hate to see you living in this hell It been seven years now that you've been sitting in this cell Awaiting execution for the murder of your wife Michelle To my knees I fell, the guards busted in But no matter how hard they beat me, I still refused to yell (I saw my mother's face) [Chorus: Chino XL] I just want to be safe in my own skin (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe} I just want to be happy again (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe} But I'm so fucked up I don't even wanna deal with myself, anymore (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) (I just wanna be safe in my own skin) {Just wanna be safe in my own skin}