Pledge Drive

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Greg, Mandy] I am living in an extra large box It's a nice big house with a TV/VCR Where rats are eating all my earthly possessions I called the pledge drive, I got the suicide hotline Life's little moments in an extra large box (Get up, get up) Courting controversy in an esoteric field (Put it down, put it down) Why don't the police ever obey the law? (Get up, get up) I don't know anything, you don't know anything (Put it down, put it down) [Pre-Chorus: Greg] Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated But not that hydrated No one is mad at me No one is mad at me No one is mad at me No one is mad at me [Chorus: Greg, Greg & Mandy] If woke dudes must die, I'll go first I don't know anything, you don't know anything If we must dumpster dive, I'll go first I don't know anything, you don't know anything And if you think youth has been wasted On the young and the wasted And so now one of us has to die, I'll go first I don't know anything, you don't know anything [Verse 2: Greg, Mandy] I am a supergrain, I'm native to Peru I thrive in the elevations of the Andes mountain range I am arguably ruining the environment and the local economy And you can substitute me for bulgur wheat This mob of teens with sponges is ready to wash your car (Get up, get up) I'm standing in the Wendy's drive-thru screaming "Fuck all the transphobes" (Put it down, put it down) (Sir, this is a Wendy's) I feel nothing and I'm 14-inches tall (Get up, get up) I don't know anything, you don't know anything (Put it down, put it down) [Pre-Chorus: Greg] Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated But not that hydrated No one is mad at me No one is mad at me No one is mad at me No one is mad at me [Chorus: Greg, Greg & Mandy] If woke dudes must die, I'll go first I don't know anything, you don't know anything If we must dumpster dive, I'll go first I don't know anything, you don't know anything And if you think youth has been wasted On the young and the wasted And so now one of us has to die, I'll go first I don't know anything, you don't know anything