Mr Henderson Coughs

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Mr. Henderson was regarded as affable and generous But since his cancer diagnosis he'd become irritable and cantankerous His students at the comprehensive had started to take notice And nicknames began to spread like spiderwebs of whispers Sent as voice messages on contraband devices Alongside images of dictators with Mr. Henderson's face pasted crudely on top Thе crowded corridors softly sniggered and mockеd As he spluttered and coughed his way through each lesson 'till this soon too became a trait ripe for parody and impersonation [Verse 2] Mr. Henderson's coughs echoed in the throats of the callous young The only difference being when they coughed their handkerchiefs weren't stained with blood He'd had enough His fuse shortened, tether lessened And constricted into a coiled spring Which began to bubble and boil and put the fear of god into him It was the day before his chemotherapy was due to begin On a rainy Tuesday Oppressive and grey His final class of the afternoon had just started He called out the first name on the register The reply came: a hacking, mock cough [Verse 3] Mr. Henderson lost it Mr. Henderson snapped Mr. Henderson leapt forward And indiscriminately attacked The students sprang from their seats in a state of disbelief And scattered and ran Some tried to fight back But it was no use [Verse 4] Needless to say he missed his appointment the next day And declined to rearrange it to a more convenient date He hoped this would act as penance for the way that he'd behaved He hoped that this decision to self-flagellate Would help him on his way from early grave to pearly gates He hoped the universe had some kind of divine order and shape But who knows? Who can say?