Song Meaning
The narrator grapples with an intense internal conflict, a battle between unrestrained desire and a deep-seated loathing for its consequences. This dedication, devoid of self-control, is framed as a betrayal of personal ideals, a thirst that only breeds more hate. The core tension emerges from the overwhelming temptation to surrender to "cold love" versus the visceral disgust for "lust of the flesh."
The lyrics explicitly identify this carnal desire as the "assassin of love," a powerful metaphor for how immediate gratification can destroy genuine connection. This isn't just a fleeting thought; it's a profound struggle, underscored by the repeated, almost desperate, question, "Why is it so hard?" The narrator feels trapped, unable to escape the grip of past experiences and anxieties that dictate their present reality, lamenting, "your past determines my reality."
This emotional turmoil is amplified by the contrast between the mechanical and the emotional. The narrator rejects the idea that feelings can be "mechanic," highlighting the messy, unpredictable nature of human emotion. The inclusion of "greed, love, past, future, anger and anxiety" paints a complex emotional landscape. The desire to break free from the past, to stop "liv[ing] my present in the past anymore," is palpable, yet the lyrics suggest this is an incredibly difficult, perhaps even impossible, feat.
The raw, confessional tone makes this internal war feel immediate and relatable. The writing doesn't offer easy answers, instead focusing on the visceral experience of being torn between conflicting impulses. The power lies in its honest portrayal of a struggle against a destructive force, the "assassin of love," and the overwhelming difficulty of reclaiming one's present from the shadows of the past.