I Can Do Without You

Lyrics

[CALAMITY] In the summer, you're the winter In the finger, you're the splinter In the banquet you're the stew Say! I can do without you [BILL] In the garden, you're the nettle And the mildew on the petal Like an overturned canoe Well! I can do without you! [CALAMITY] You can go to Philadelphia Take a hack to Hackensack Hey! I'll never ring a bell fer ya Or yell fer ya to come back In the quеstion, you're the why [BILL] In the ointmеnt you're the fly [CALAMITY] Though I know some things are indispensable Like a buck or two If there's anything I can do without I can do without you [BILL] In the barrel, you're the pickle In the gold mine you're the nickel You're the tack inside my shoe Yup! I can do without you [CALAMITY] In my bosom, you're the dagger You're a mangy carpet-bagger In the theatre you're the boo I can do without you [BILL] You have charms They're not bewitchin' me You've a face no one would paint [CALAMITY] I've got the darnedest itch in me To be wherever you ain't [BILL] In the bullfrog, you're the croak [CALAMITY] In the forest, poison oak [BILL] Though I know some things are necessary My half-pint buckaroo If there's one thing I can do without I can do without you [RATTLESNAKE, spoken] Stage is all ready, Calam! [CALAMITY, spoken] Then let's get the old schooner rollin'... [MILLER, spoken] Salary's no object! Promise her anything - only bring her here! [CALAMITY] I'll bring her... I hope you like her when I've brung her! [CALAMITY] I shall hate 'er! [BILL] 'Cos she's pretty? [CALAMITY] See you later [BILL] More's the pity [CALAMITY & BILL] I can do without you