The Chess Game

Lyrics

[MARVIN] That's the king, treat him nice Use some brains, now protect him [WHIZZER] Yes, I know Here I go [MARVIN] Play the game [WHIZZER] Please, don't watch me I can do it [MARVIN] Have a little scotch [WHIZZER] Shit, I blew it Maybe you could show me where I fear I've lost my head [MARVIN] Do you want my help? [WHIZZER] No, I don't I can think it through myself [MARVIN] Start again, we've seen the worst [WHIZZER] I'll go first [MARVIN] Move a pawn [WHIZZER] No, sir [MARVIN] Move [WHIZZER] Where? [MARVIN] There [WHIZZER] Here? [MARVIN] Move a pawn [WHIZZER] Who? [MARVIN] Not the queen [WHIZZER] Who? [MARVIN] Jesus [BOTH] Life's a sham and Every move is wrong We've examined Every move as we move along [MARVIN, WHIZZER, BOTH] Winning is (Nothing is) Everything (Everything) To me Winning is (Nothing is) Everything (Everything) To me [WHIZZER] Except sex [MARVIN, spoken] Move a pawn.​ [WHIZZER, spoken] And money.​ [Marvin scoffs.] [MARVIN] Good first move [WHIZZER] Quite alright Take a turn [MARVIN] Thank you kindly [WHIZZER] Move the pawn Move the pawn Take my hand Play the game [MARVIN] God you're pretty [WHIZZER] More's the pity Since you need a man [MARVIN] What? [WHIZZER] Who's brainy [MARVIN] Or [BOTH] Witty [MARVIN] Move [WHIZZER] What should I do now? [MARVIN] Move [WHIZZER] Where? [MARVIN] There [WHIZZER] How should I behave myself? Maybe we should call it quits [MARVIN] This game shits [WHIZZER] Let me win [MARVIN] Yes, sir [WHIZZER] Please [MARVIN] Yes [WHIZZER] Thanks [MARVIN] Wait! [WHIZZER] Whizzer wins! [MARVIN] Wait! [WHIZZER] Whizzer wins! [MARVIN] Wait! [WHIZZER] Checkmate! [BOTH] Life's a sham and every move is wrong We've examined every move as we move along [WHIZZER, spoken] Marvin! (sung) Whizzer's supposed to make the dinner Be a patsy, lose at chess Always bravely acquiesce Clip the coupons, make the dinner And love him [WHIZZER, MARVIN, BOTH] This has got to come to a stop (This has got to come) Marvin (To a stop) This has been a lousy but Fabulous flop [MARVIN] Anyone understand? All I want's a kiss Anyone understand? [WHIZZER] Don't start explaining I'm sick of explaining [MARVIN, WHIZZER, BOTH] And this had better come to a stop (Whizzer) (Marvin) Now, (Whizzer) (Marvin) Ciao, (Whizzer) (Marvin) Bend This had better come This had better come to a This, this, this, this [WHIZZER] This had better come to an end [MARVIN] This had better come to an end [BOTH] This had better come to an end