Please Come to Our House

Lyrics

[The phone rings. TRINA is on the phone.] [MENDEL, spoken] Hello? [TRINA] Dr. Mendel, please [MENDEL, spoken] Yep, this is Mendel Weisenbachfeld.​ [TRINA] Dr. Mendel, vis-a-vis what Marvin did Or rather, hasn't done [MENDEL, spoken] Trina, how are you? [TRINA] You must exorcise a devil 'Cause it inhabits Marvin's son [MENDEL, spoken] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.​ [TRINA] Please come to our house And talk a bit with Jason It's a slight exaggeration But he's sick in the head Oh, sure Sometimes, you'll think he's wonderful But he's wild I'm sure he's Marvin's child! [JASON] What should I say to the man? Should I be mean to the man? [TRINA] Just be yourself [JASON] I'll be myself? [TRINA] Stop asking questions, be yourself [JASON] I'll be myself! [TRINA] Don't be disgusting, be yourself! [The doorbell rings. Mendel opens the door. He shakes hands with Jason.] [JASON] Hello to my house So good of you to travel On account of my unraveling Now let's eat some food [MENDEL, spoken] Let's talk.​ [TRINA] I think, before the food gets cold [MENDEL] Time to jaw First, I'll extend my paw [Ridiculously, chivalrously, he takes Trina's hand. Spotlight on their hands.] I think she's holding it so tenderly I'll probably faint If so I'd rather die in this position Than remain the saint You think You know I'm not Although I must be showing better-than-the-norm restraint [TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON] Oh, what a lovely table Such a romantic table Knives in place Lots of space To spread out and eat Notice how our eyes discreetly [They look. Cat and mouse.] [MENDEL & JASON, TRINA, ALL] Please come to our house (Please come to our house) The dinner's on the table (The dinner's on the table) We will talk if we are able to (We will talk with you) But probably we won't We sit [MENDEL] The kid looks pretty miserable [He puts an arm around Jason.] [JASON] Uninspired [MENDEL] Ugh, ain't that the truth? [TRINA, MENDEL, & JASON] We're tired! [Jason moves Mendel's arm away.] [MENDEL] I think the room looks just a wee bit small [TRINA] This girl agrees [MENDEL & JASON] Adieu [TRINA] I'll wait outside And hold the food [MENDEL] I do not eat at all at times like these [TRINA] The worst is through [MENDEL] There's work to do [TRINA] I'll wait [MENDEL] She'll wait [JASON] They'll wait [TRINA] I'll wait for you [Trina exits with the table.]