Song Meaning

The narrator grapples with a pervasive sense of being stuck, caught in emotional extremes or a paralyzing middle ground. This internal conflict manifests as a recurring "habit" of feeling "too much or too little," existing "somewhere between love and hate." The core of the song lies in this oscillation, a constant push and pull that prevents any stable emotional footing. It's a state of perpetual disequilibrium. The lyrics paint a picture of a life that remains "still broken," despite the outward expression of a "scream... still spoken." This suggests a disconnect between internal suffering and external communication, or perhaps a cry that goes unheard or unheeded. The narrator also describes being "sleeping wide awake," a powerful image of profound dissociation and an inability to truly rest or engage with the present. They even find themselves laughing "in brand new ways," hinting at a desperate, perhaps even manic, coping mechanism. The repeated phrase "I'll give you my broken promise now" in the bridge is a striking admission of unreliability, delivered with an almost ritualistic insistence. This, coupled with the frantic repetition of "I don't know what I am thinking," underscores a loss of control and self-awareness. The imagery of "hands are blistered, holding on to you" suggests a painful, futile effort to maintain a connection that is likely contributing to their distress. Ultimately, the effectiveness of these lyrics stems from their raw depiction of a fractured internal state. The simple, declarative sentences of the chorus, contrasted with the more chaotic, fragmented thoughts in the bridge, create a palpable sense of emotional turmoil. The narrator's "habit" isn't just a behavioral quirk; it's a descriptor for a fundamental way of being that leaves them perpetually "tired" and unable to escape their own internal landscape.