Look Out, There’s A Monster Coming

Lyrics

[Count-In] (And three, four) [Instrumental Intro] [Verse 1] Lonely, unmarried, looking for love Life was passing me by So I sent off my photo, hobbies, and age Magazine marriage I tried They say for centuries, lovely Japanese girls Have been trained in the art of pleasing men Be lonely no more, open destiny's door For one dollar, they arrange a meeting [Verse 2] My image was wrong, I didn't like me So I changed my personality I bought a deluxe Merseybeat wig But it was a size too big What confidence in my new built-up shoes So smart for winter or summer Undetectable in normal everyday use Look out, there's a monster coming [Verse 3] Bye-bye, binoculars and Macintosh Everything is just great I take elocution, learn to speak posh But still, I can't find a mate Be popular, learn to play the guitar In seven days, you could be strumming Be sociable, learn kissing technique Look out, there's a monster coming [Instrumental Bridge] [Verse 4] For my Carnaby clothes, I reshaped my nose Plastic surgery's best To cut down my weight, off comes my left leg I pass a swimming costume test Are my sideboards too long? Don't my aftershave pong? I know my new nose ain't runnin' What's wrong with my tie? Am I getting too high? Look out, there's a monster coming [Verse 5] Disfiguring and ugly, my facial hair I had removed electrically I rejuvenated my energy cells And regained my virility, grunt, grunt He put my hand on my heart I hadn't changed any part He had a machine for a mummy Please be gentle with me I come to pieces, literally Look out, there's a monster coming [Outro] Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming Look out, there's a monster coming