Big Shot

Lyrics

I am the Big Shot You heard me right the first time Name of bachelor Johnny Cool Occupation, Big Shot Occupation at the moment, just having fun What a party that was The drinks were loaded And so were the dolls I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan Then I saw Hotsie, what a dame A big, bountiful babe in the region of 48-23-38 One hell of a region She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima I had to stand back for fear of being burned "Whiskey wow, wow," I breathed She was dressed as Biffo The Bear In that kind of outfit She could get rolled at night And I don't mean on a crap table "It's kind of revealing, isn't it?" 'Revealing? It's positively risque I like it," she said "You're a man with a thousand Gs, right?" "A thousand what?" I quipped "G-men, girls, guns, guts" "You're my type" "Wrong, baby", I slapped her hard "I'm an L man, strictly liquor, love and laughs" She stared over my shoulder "Play it cool, Johnny" "Play it what?" I flipped "Listen, I fought my way up from tough East Side New York Lead-filled saps and sub-machine guns, like this" She said, "Johnny, this is a deadly game Have a few laughs and go home" I shuddered, normally I pack a rod in pajamas I carry nothing but scars from Normandy beach I said, "Wrong, baby, you can't fool me" She spat playfully, "I'm ahead of you, Johnny" I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said "Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful" "You, you are, you are eccentric, I like that" "Electric Cheri, bounce off my rocket, tout comprehend?" We spoke French fluently, our lips met again and again "Yeah, yeah, yeah," I slobbered Hotsie said, "You're slobbering all over the seat, kid" I went home late, very late What could I say to my wife? "Darling, I've been beaten up again?" Let's face it, she's credulous as hell A punk stopped me on the street He said, "You got a light, mac?" I said, "No, but I've got a dark brown overcoat"