Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues (Live at Carnegie Hall, New York, NY - October 1963)

Lyrics

[Intro] This is called talkin' John Birch Blues And there ain't nothing wrong with this song [Verse 1] Well, I was feelin' sad and kinda blue I didn't know what I was a-gonna do The communists was a-comin' around They was in the air They was on the ground They was all over [Verse 2] So I run down most hurriedly And joined up with the John Birch Society I got me a secret membership card Went back home to the yard Started lookin' on the sidewalk Under the hedges [Verse 3] Well, I got up in the mornin' I looked under my bed I was lookin' every places for them gol-darned Reds Looked behind the sink and under the floor Looked in the glove compartment of m'car Couldn't find any [Verse 4] Look behind the clothes, behind the chair Lookin' for them Reds everywhere Looked way up my chimney hole Even looked deep inside my toilet bowl They got away [Verse 5] I heard some footsteps by the front porch door So I grabbed my shotgun from the floor Snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss "Sayin' hands up you communist" It was the mailman He punched me out [Verse 6] Well, I was sittin' home an' started to sweat I figured they was in my T.V. set I peeked behind the picture frame Got a shock from my feet that hit m'brain Them reds did it Hootin' in the television [Verse 7] Well, I quit my job, so I could work alone Got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes Followed some clues from my detective bag And discovered red stripes on the American flag Betsy Ross [Verse 8] Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy Lincoln, and Jefferson and then Roosevelt guy To my knowledge, there's just one man That's really and truly an American That's George Lincoln Rockwell I know for a fact he hates Commies 'Cause he picketed the movie "Exodus" [Verse 9] Well, I finally started thinkin' straight When I run outta things to investigate I couldn't imagine nothin' else So now I'm home investigatin' myself Hope I don't find out too much Good God