Go Into Finance

Lyrics

[spoken in rythm] In 5th grade my school Thought it would be cool To do a production of "Hair" So I took off my clothes And did 3 sold out shows [sung] And each one my grandma was there And after each show She would throw a bouquet And I'd catch with a smile As I heard Grandma say "Go. Into. Finance Go into real estate I hate to be bitchy But your solo was pitchy And you came in like four measures late Go into finance Now is the time you should know If you so much as try Then it won't even fly In a Royal Caribbean show." {spoken in rhythm] Freshman year at Polk High I decided that I [sung] Couldn't wait for opportunity So I wrote in one day A one woman play And I set up my GoFundMe So I sent it to Grandma Who wrote back in pen She said "I'd rather donate To Zach Braff again" Go into finance Or maybe medicine Your skillset is best for A formal request form For confidence assassin Go be a yuppy Or maybe just marry well Cause if I sound nasty Even with rhinoplasty You'll never be Lea Michelle She said "A tisket a tasket Don't put all your eggs in one basket There's plenty of pain and disease So spare us please." {spoken in rhythm] Well, the cancer appeared It was worse then we feared And quick to metastasize But she still soldered on 'till she knew she'd be gone {sung} I watched her with tear filled eyes So I sang her a song At the side of her bed And she grabbed me and uttered The last words she said "Go. Into. Finance Keep your face off of screens Follow your heart But away from all arts And all karaoke machines Go into finance Go start a darn day care 'Cause if Lincon were to Watch your Broadway debut He would blow his own brains out Right then and there." [spoken] That's why I'm here with you She pushed me because she knew [sung] When haters say "screw it" The dreamers dream through it And get their own show on TV So here's to the fools like me!