Leo McGuire’s Song

Lyrics

Ah wis headin' wi ma cromack up frae Gretna Green tae Skye But ma journey has an element of farce 'Cos the calendar has stated - it's the middle o' July Yet here ah am wi' snaw up tae ma arse, Oh - yo! Wi' ma pipes below ma oxter an' ma sporran neatly pressed Ma pockets full o' porridge for the road Wi' some Crawford's Tartan Shortbread an' some tattie scones as weel An' ah'm jist aboot tae paint masel' wi' woad. Oh - yo! I am headin' for sweet Afton, that's the place that ah am daft on Where the smell o' tattie bogle fills the air If ye poke amang the heather wi' a feather ye will see Where the untamed hornie-golluck has his lair. Oh - yo! Ah remember Annie Laurie, sure, ah had her in a quarry On the road frae Tobermory tae the sea Ah remember Mountain Daisy, an' that lassie wisnae lazy 'Cos ah remember Daisy mountin' me. Oh - Yo! Ah remember gettin' pally wi' a peely-wally 'tally In a chalet doon at Butlin's camp at Ayr An' ah gied her a bambino as she lay an' read "The Beano" Then she said, well how did she know ah wis there? Oh - yo! Ah wis jist a wee bit randy as she lay an' read "The Dandy" Then she went an' put a pot upon the hob An' she made me tagliatelli, which she balanced on her belly So's ah could eat while ah wis on the job. Oh - yo! By the time the job wis over, she wis halfway through "The Rover" An' had started on that week's "People's Friend" An' she made me veal escalope an' we had another wallop Before ma strong desire came to an end Oh the Scottish Summers have a certain lack of charm Due mainly to the sudden rainy squalls But the Scottish lassies can aye keep her laddie warm By their tender ministration to his knees. Oh - yo!