I’m So Over Men

Lyrics

CLODAGH (spoken) I tell you, I'm getting too old for this game. Too many disappointments DANA (spoken) Maybe we should give 'em up altogether DANA I wish they'd invent a Nicorette patch To help me give up men Just slap it on Your cravings are gone But how would I fill my days then? It's always the wrong Mr. right Who suddenly lands in my lap They're shits who pass in the night Falling in love is crap A load of old bull Farewell to nights on the pull I'm so over men I don't need a guy And as for the sex There's always DIY Some seem hot till the rumpy pump starts Then they're not worth the sum of their parts Lie on your back Try looking impressed Fake it and scream "Oh, you're the best" I've said it before and I'll say it again I'm so over men CLODAGH I wish I could join an anonymous group Rehab to give up men Just say your name Face up to the shame Confess you've been shagging again Then maybe I'll find I have strengths Away from the rages and rants Of guys who don't go to great lengths Falling in love is pants From now on it's clear I'll have a solo career I'm so over men Bragging they're top notch Talking through their arse Thinking with their crotch How I dread each familiar sign Farts in bed that I know are not mine The toilet seat's up There's pubes on the soap As for romance – not a hope I've said it before and I'll say it again I'm so over men DANA If they had a jab I'd give it a stab To make me immune to men CLODAGH Painless and quick Just one little prick DANA AND CLODAGH Instead of the usual ten! I'm so over men 'Specially when they're pissed Those who've turned us down Don't know what they've missed CLODAGH Act like ice but then try not to melt DANA My advice, try a chastity belt CLODAGH No football to watch Fags in the sink Y-fronts to wash – I don't think so DANA Cold pizza crusts and beer cans to chuck Do we miss them? DANA AND CLODAGH Do we, fuck! I've said it before and I'll say it again I'm so over men DANA No more pregnancy tests No more need for precautions CLODAGH No more overnight guests No more getting small portions DANA No more "I'm going bald" No more love bites need hiding CLODAGH No more "my wife just called" No more hands that need guiding DANA AND CLODAGH No more "can't we be friends?" No more "first meet my mother" No more "here's where it ends" No more "made for each other I've said it before and I'll say it again I'm so over men