I Understand (Pitkin’s Song)

Lyrics
[PITKIN] When I was five, my brother stole my lollipop My lollipop stole he! But I didn't mutter, "Damn your hide" He needed candy more than I'd So instead of biting off his hand I just said, "Goo! I understand!" When I was ten, my mother trounced me with a mop With a mop trouncèd she me But I didn't mutter, "Damn your eyes" I knew she needed exercise So instead of joining a gypsy band I just said, "Mom, I understand!" At thirty a man in a car ruthlessly ran me down He ruthlessly down ran me But I didn't mutter, "Damn your spleen" For a man's a man, but a car's a machine So instead of stripping him of his land I just said, "Jack, I understand!" Now I'm forty-five and I've met Claire, we're engaged to wed Engaged to wed are we But tonight I tell you, "Damn you, Claire" You played me evil and that's not fair! So instead of remaining calm and bland I hereby do not understand!
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Credits
- Writers
- Betty Comden
- Adolph Green
- Leonard Bernstein