Army (Live)

Lyrics

Well I thought about the army Dad said, son you're fucking high And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything So I took my old man's advice Three sad semesters It was only fifteeen grand spent in bed I thought about the army I dropped out and joined a band instead Grew a moustache and a mullet Got a job at Chick-Fil-A Citing artistic differences The band broke up in May And in June reformed without me And they'd got a different name I nuked another grandma's apple pie And hung my head in shame Oh no I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today Whoooaah, I think I'll write a screenplay Whoooaah, I think I'll take it to LA Whoooaah, I think I'll get it done yesterday Aw, Shit In this time of introspection On the eve of my election I say to my reflection God, please spare me more rejection Cause my peers they criticize me And my ex-wives all despise me Try to put it all behind me But my redneck past is nipping at my heels I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today I thought about your mommy...