Lyrics

Vera and Mame: [singing] We'll always be bosom buddies Friends, sisters and pals; We'll always be bosom buddies If life should reject you There's me to protect you Vera: If I say that your tongue is vicious Mame: If I call you uncouth; Vera and Mame: It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will sit down and tell you the truth Vera: [speaking] Tho' now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting Mame: Tho' often my frank observation might scald; I've been meanin' to tell you for years You should keep your hair natural like mine Vera: If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald [singing] But darling Vera and Mame: We'll always be dear companions Vera: My crony Mame: My mate; Vera and Mame: We'll always be harmonizing Vera: Orphan Annie and Sandy Vera and Mame: Like Amos and Andy Vera: If I say that your sense of style's as far as off as your youth; It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth Mame: [speaking] Each time that a critic has written, "Your voice is the voice of a frog!" Straight to your side to defend you I rush; You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes and unkind Remark When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!" [singing] It hurts me! Vera: And if I say your fangs are showing Mame, pull in your claws It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will notice the obvious flaws! Mame: [speaking] I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age; You try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth." Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth! Vera: Well, how old do you think? Mame: I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death! Vera and Mame: [singing] But sweetie Vera: I'll always be Alice Toklas If you'll be Gertrude Stein And tho' I'll admit I've dished you I've gossiped and gloated But I'm so devoted Mame: And if I say that s** and guts made you into a star It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy Will tell you how rotten you are Vera and Mame: Just turn your bosom buddy For aid and affection For help and direction For loyalty, love and for sooth! Remember that who else but a bosom buddy Will sit down and level And give you the devil Will sit down and tell you the truth!