Song Meaning
The narrator lays down a stark, almost ritualistic set of vows, repeatedly promising "never ever" to inflict harm. These declarations, like "never ever will I crack your head" and "never ever do you harm," create an immediate tension. They sound like reassurances, but the sheer force of the negation hints at a struggle against powerful, unexpressed impulses, or perhaps a desperate attempt to convince themselves as much as anyone else.
The core conflict emerges between these forceful denials and the narrator's internal state. The world "is floating" while they are "in a haze," a disorienting sensation amplified by the admission, "I take a drug." This suggests the vows are being made from a place of altered consciousness, where the line between intention and action might be dangerously blurred. The repeated phrase highlights a cyclical, perhaps inescapable, pattern.
The most striking aspect is the juxtaposition of violent imagery with the narrator's self-destructive behavior. While promising not to harm another, they also state, "Never ever clear my brain" and "Never ever stop my use." The phrase "Never ever will I eat your shit" is particularly jarring, a visceral expression of disgust that seems to bleed into the self-recrimination of "Never ever will I fuck me up bad." The repetition of "never ever" transforms these into a mantra, a desperate attempt to control a spiraling reality.
Ultimately, the lyrics resonate because they capture a raw, unsettling vulnerability. The repeated "never ever" isn't just a promise; it's a frantic plea against an internal tide. The hazy, drug-induced state makes the narrator's grip on their own actions feel precarious, creating a potent sense of dread and empathy for someone fighting a battle they might not be winning.