Memory (Live At The Astoria, London 2002)

Song Meaning

The lyrics paint a disorienting picture of memory, framed by a childlike game of "hide and seek" and the playful, yet potentially unsettling, atmosphere of "Halloween." The narrator grapples with a persistent presence, a "memory" that seems to invade their thoughts, coming "in from the other side." This external force dictates what occupies the mind, leading to a sense of being diminished or "shallowing." The repetition of "following, following" emphasizes this inescapable influence. The core tension lies in the narrator's assertion of primacy against this encroaching memory. Phrases like "I knew you first," "I loved you first," and "I am your first love" are repeated, attempting to reclaim ownership and establish a foundational connection. However, this is juxtaposed with the feeling of being overwhelmed and changed by the memory, as evidenced by "Look what you've done to me." The contrast between asserting a past claim and experiencing present diminishment creates a poignant internal conflict. A striking, albeit jarring, moment arrives with the line "Poking naked Ruthie with a sharp-end stick shit." This abrupt shift to a crude, aggressive image, paired with the admission "I am mean," suggests a darker, perhaps more volatile, aspect of the narrator's psyche or the nature of the memory itself. It disrupts the earlier playful imagery, hinting that the "hide and seek" might have darker undertones and that the "other side" holds more than just passive recollection. Ultimately, the effectiveness of these lyrics stems from their raw, almost fragmented portrayal of memory's intrusive power. The simple, repetitive structure of the chorus and post-chorus, combined with the stark emotional shifts, mirrors the way memories can surface unexpectedly and alter one's present state. The narrator's struggle to define their relationship with this persistent memory, oscillating between asserting ownership and succumbing to its influence, creates a compelling, if unsettling, emotional landscape.