Cantina (Live Version)

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Well I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter Hell, ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine Well then I saw that there Cantina I'll go in for an Orangina (Fuck you, it was the only thing that rhymed with Orangina) I heard it was rough but how bad could it be? Well I walked through the door and the music stopped dead All manner of man and beast were staring at me Seems just one week before Their Twi-Lex slave girl walked out the door And I guess I was the next-best thing they'd seen [Chorus] I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I lеft my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mеan you're weak If you turn the other cheek But if ya spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man [Verse 2] Old Hammerhead, he fixed his mind to screw me Whipped out his tool and nailed me to the bar My anus he destroyed, and now I got me hemorrhoids With my spleen hangin' out my ass I wasn't going far (It only gets a lot worse) I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo I'd have never guessed that pirate was a homo I woke up next to Chewbacca, I was smeared in Wookie caca And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no [Chorus] I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak If you turn the other cheek But if ya spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man [Verse 3] Old Salacious Crumb is so small ya can't detect him Before I knew it he shoved himself straight in my rectum And then, just to be heinous, he screamed real loud out of my anus A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Now I got an anal car alarm and I can't disconnect 'em Oh Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie And he yanked that sucker 'till it wasn't so teenie He took me into Jabba's hut, He stared intently at my butt And he oo-ta-too-ta'd me with his zucchini [Chorus] I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak If you turn the other cheek But if ya spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man Take it away boys [Verse 4] Well a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you" I said, "Sorry" He said "I don't like ya neither ya better watch yourself" (I think his name was Tom Waits) And then some old dude who taught Vader Chopped his arm off with a saber But later made for one red hot anal invader I was broken on the floor beat to a stuper But then I was saved There at the door were ten Stormtroopers But then my hope faded away I didn't know they cloned 'em gay And they each took turns stormtrooping me in the pooper [Chorus] I lost more than my heart in that Cantina I left my manhood there on Tatooine Son, it don't mean you're weak If you turn the other cheek Which is why I still go there every week