Lyrics

Arthur And now, a song about my dog, Pal, entitled "My Dog Pal," by Arthur Read, Mr. Ratburn's class. (calm, soothing tune on the piano) My dog Pal is better than all the rest His doggy face makes any place the absolute best Like dogs of a feather, we belong together D.W. Boring! Don't you want people to like your song? Arthur Well, yeah. D.W. Then sing about what people like. People like elephants. And you need an instrument that says "elephant." Here, use this tuba. Tuba rocks! Arthur (sings a somewhat lively tune and plays the tuba) My elephant Pal was born upstairs And fell through the ceiling You shouldn't keep an elephant up there If you must have an elephant Keep it in the basement Because that's too much weight to keep upstairs! Buster Hold it, hold it! That didn't happen. If you're gonna sing about stuff that didn't happen, why not make it science fiction? Science fiction is very popular. Could be a big hit. Arthur A big hit? (sings to the tune of Strauss's "Waltz of the Blue Danube") My elephant Buster My elephant Arthur Was born up on the moon Buster Born on the moon Arthur And floated upstairs Buster Floated upstairs Arthur There's less gravity there Buster Gravity there Arthur Elephants floating around Buster Floating around Arthur Zooming up, zooming down Buster Zoom zoom, zoom zoom Arthur and Buster Elephants in space helmets everywhere In our remote moon-based home Brain Stop right there. An elephant would weigh loss on the moon, but would not float to the ceiling. You need accurate facts. Here. Use my elephant research. Arthur (classical tune) Loxodonta, genus Loxodonta Loxodonta, that's a pachyderm Francine Stop! Stop! Stop! I don't understand that. And if I don't, other people sure won't. People understand country music. Make it colorful with stripes and hats. Something you can dance to. Then everyone will love your song, Arthur. Arthur (performing country western tune) A boy found a missin' elephant Its owner was so grateful She said Mrs. Wood "You deserve a big reward." Arthur He chose an elephant puppy One with lots of stripes It would never be ignored, yeehaw! Now this little boy Can go home and enjoy His own personal striped elephant Now you all will see How happy he can be Here on planet Schmellafint Brain Arthur, I looked it up. There is no such planet as "Schmellafint." Arthur None of the other planets rhyme with "elephant." But the rest of the song is good, right? Right? Mrs. Wood I don't know what this song is about. Arthur It's about my dog, Pal. Buster, Francine and Brain Huh? Arthur It used to go like this. (performs original tune) My dog Pal is better than all the rest His doggy face makes any place the absolute best Like dogs of a feather, we belong together (Pal wails) Me and my dog Pal Buster Hey, that's not bad. Brain I like it. Francine Why didn't you sing that in the first place? Arthur I did, but D.W. said it was boring. D.W. (giggles nervously) I think I hear Mom calling. Bye! Francine Sing it again! Yeah! All except Arthur, D.W. and Francine Yeah! Arthur If you want to hear it again, start the track over. I'm exhausted.