Santa Left A Booger In My Stocking

Lyrics

[Spoken Intro] [Meatwad] Hey look everybody, its anti-records recording artist Neko Case [Neko Case] Hey Meatwad! [Meatwad] Yea hey, what you doin' in my house girl? [Neko Case] Well you invited me, were friends Meatwad, remember? [Meatwad] Oh, yeah right, yeah I know, you ain't' no cop are ya? Cause' you supposed to say if you is [Neko Case] No I'm not a cop [Meatwad]Oh good, Neko I'm glad you're here, lets you and me sing a song about the best Christmas gift of all, the one that comes from deep within... from the nose region, specifically Santa left a booger in my stocking Santa left a smear of Christmas cheer St. Nick swiped and wiped And left me something right I knew I'd been a good boy this year [Neko Case] Meatwad someone left a booger in your stocking But I don't think that they meant it as a gift; I really think the issue was they couldn't find a tissue And they used your stocking as a handkerchief [Meatwad] No it was Santa who left a booger in my stocking, Neko case And he made sure it was Christmas red and green He took his mitten off And shoved his finger up the booger trough And brought a gift down his nose chimney [Neko Case] Meatwad you leave boogers everywhere Under table tops and chairs You left Santa some snacks Three boogers and earwax You strung boogers round the tree With bows on boogers underneath And on the back door, by the porch You left a booger wreath [Meatwad]Wait, are you saying... I might have left a booger in my own stocking? Well Neko Case that just don't make no sense Every time I pick a winner I make that winner dinner And I digest all the evidence No it was Santa Clause left a booger in my stocking- [Spoken] [Neko Case] Stop, guys just stop, stop [Meatwad] -and he blows his nose... what, what happened? [Neko Case] It's not Santa's booger Meatwad [Meatwad] What? [Neko Case] I'm sorry buddy; it's not Santa's booger [Meatwad] Well shoot Neko I, I know that [Neko Case] You do? [Meatwad] Yea, Santa don't make his own boogers, it's an elf booger, see in his workshop, up in the North Pole, they grow boogers in the elf noses, Santa just picks 'em and distributes, he's a middleman, I just didn't want to complicate things for the listener, I, I know how the operation works so, so we good, you do the song the way, the way I wrote it [Neko Case] Okay, Santa left a booger in your stocking [Meatwad] I'm glad that we can finally agree He shoved his finger in his nose And pulled out a nugget of gold For me to complete my snotativity Santa must have had a cold 'cause he blew out 24 karat gold, for me to complete my snotativity [Spoken] [Meatwad] Alright, so you want you some eggnog Neko? [Neko Case] Is that nutmeg? [Meatwad] ah, nosemeg... boogies [Neko Case] Thank you, No