Gee, Officer Krupke

Lyrics

[MOUTHPIECE, spoken] Oh, lookit yiz, ya feckless friggin' disappointments. Now gimme one good reason I shouldn't throw the book at'cha.  [DIESEL] Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just our bringin' upke That gets us outta hand [BIG DEAL] Our mothers all are junkies [A-RAB] Our fathers all are drunks [DIESEL] Golly Moses Naturally we're punks Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset We never had the love that every child oughta get We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood Deep down insidе us, there is good [A-RAB] Therе is good [DIESEL, A-RAB, BIG DEAL & SNOWBOY] There is good, there is good There is untapped good Like inside, the worst of us is good [MOUTHPIECE, spoken] Aw, that's a touchin' good story.  [DIESEL, spoken] Let me tell it to the world! [MOUTHPIECE, spoken] Just tell it to the Judge! [DIESEL] Dear kindly Judge, your Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad! [BALKAN] Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed He's psychologically disturbed [DIESEL] I'm disturbed! [DIESEL, MOUTHPIECE, A-RAB, SNOWBOY & BIG DEAL] We're disturbed, we're disturbed We're the most disturbed Like we're psychologically disturbed [BALKAN, spoken] Hear ye hear ye! In the opinion of this court, the boy's depraved on account of he ain't had a normal home.  [DIESEL, spoken] Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived! [BALKAN, spoken] So take this nut to a headshrinker.  [MOUTHPIECE, spoken] Ooh, why not? [DIESEL] My father is a bastard My ma's an S.O.B My grandpa's always plastered My grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious! That's why I'm a mess! [A-RAB] Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick [DIESEL] I am sick! [JETS] We are sick, we are sick We are sick, sick, sick Like we're sociologically sick! [A-RAB, spoken] In my professional opinion, what we got here is a run-of-the-mill juvenile delinquent. And juvenile delinquency is a social disease.  [BALKAN, spoken] Ew, Diesel, you got a social disease? [A-RAB, spoken] Bring him to a social worker.  [MOUTHPIECE, spoken] Wait, can I catch it by touchin' him? [DIESEL] Dear— [BABY JOHN] Kindly social worker They say go earn a buck Like be a soda jerker Which means like be a schmuck! It's not I'm antisocial I'm only anti-work [DIESEL & SNOWBOY] Gloryosky! [JETS] That's why I'm a jerk! [BIG DEAL] Yee! Officer Krupke, you've done it again This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the Pen It ain't just a question of misunderstood Deep down inside him, he's no good! [BABY JOHN] I'm no good! [JETS] We're no good, we're no good We're no earthly good Like the best of us is no damn good! [MOUTHPIECE] The trouble is he's crazy [BALKAN] The trouble is he drinks [A-RAB] The trouble is he's lazy [SNOWBOY] The trouble is he stinks [BIG DEAL] The trouble is he's growing [BABY JOHN] The trouble is he's grown [JETS] Krupke, we've got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke We're down on our knees [DIESEL] 'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease [JETS] Gee, Officer Krupke What are we to do? [MOUTHPIECE & BABY JOHN] Gee, Officer Krupke— [ALL] KRUP YOU!