Long Distance

Lyrics

[ROSE] Hello, Pa It's long distance It's your brand new Southern daughter [ROSE, spoken] It's Rose [ROSE] Oh, everything is fine here, I suppose How's the Hudson River? I'm fine, just fine I'm learning the lingo Magnolia, camelia, azalea, y'all The temple, get this Has Sunday night bingo Just like the goyim Oy A long distance call So much to tell The boy still hates me I really shouldn't be talking so loud He leaves money in his pockets And that really grates me I tell him and tell him it's not allowed Just shucking your laundry— [ROSE, spoken] You hear that? "Shuck?" I'm a Southerner already— [ROSE] Onto the floor Take the money out first God knows we're not poor But show respect for your father He worked hard for that buck— [ROSE, spoken] Well, no, not a whole buck, he's a boy But loose change, quarters Those add up [ROSE] The Negro maid She's making bupkes How does that look? Leaving change in his pockets? Indifferent to money The kid's a little funny Spoiled and quiet Sad, I guess I'm on a diet I bought a new dress Stu's giving lessons, playing, doing fine The work is steady He still misses Betty I don't mind I miss her too She was my best friend I miss the city I miss the old crowd— [ROSE, spoken] What? Well, because we haven't got— No, we can't give her a raise, Pa Pa, we aren't rich, we're just plain folk We've only got bupkes ourselves We're broke It's typical You obsess about the maid While your daughter's miserable No, not miserable, I never said— It's not what I meant I'm just not Just not [ROSE] A hundred percent It's very hot, and very damp And out in the backyard there's a little swamp Full of noisy frogs Last night I cried [ROSE, spoken] I miss you, Pa [ROSE] I miss the Upper West Side