Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh

Album cover art for "Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh" by Andrew Lloyd Webber

Andrew Lloyd Webber - Pop, Orchestral

Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh

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Lyrics

[CONFIDANTE] They say that this youth has set my lady's heart aflame [1st FOP] His Lordship, sure, would die of shock [2nd FOP] His Lordship is a laughingstock [CONFIDANTE] Should he suspect her, God protect her [CONFIDANTE, 1st FOP & 2nd FOP] Shame, shame, shame This faithless lady's bound for Hades Shame, shame, shame [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Serafimo, your disguise is perfect [A knock at the door.] [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Why, who can this be? [DON ATTILIO] Gentle wife, admit your loving husband [DON ATTILIO touches MEG's (Playing a maid) behind, who is surprised.] [DON ATTILIO] My love, I am called to England on affairs of state And must leave you with your new maid [DON ATTILIO makes a gesture imitating touching SERAFIMO's, played by CHRISTINE, behind. SERAFIMO turns away, indignant. The audience laughs.] [DON ATTILIO, spoken] Though I would happily take the maid with me [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS, spoken] The old fool is leaving [The audience laughs.] [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Serafimo, away with this pretence You cannot speak, but kiss me in my husband's absence [The audience laughs.] [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Poor fool, he makes me laugh [The COUNTESS vocalizes, imitating a laugh.] [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Time I tried to get a better, better half [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS & ENSEMBLE] Poor fool, he doesn't know [The COUNTESS & the ENSEMBLE vocalize, imitating a laugh.] [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS & ENSEMBLE] If he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go [PHANTOM, spoken] Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept empty? [The audience reacts.] [MEG, spoken] He's here, the Phantom of the Opera [CHRISTINE, spoken] It's him [CARLOTTA, spoken] Your part is silent, little toad [PHANTOM, spoken] A toad, madame? Perhaps it is you who are the toad [CARLOTTA, spoken] Maestro, da capo, per favore [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Serafimo, away with this pretence You cannot speak, but kiss me in my— [CARLOTTA croaks. The audience reacts.] [REYER, spoken] Gentlemen, please, please [The audience laughs.] [CARLOTTA AS COUNTESS] Poor fool, he makes me laugh [The COUNTESS vocalizes, imitating a laugh, but she croaks again. CARLOTTA croaks repeatedly.] [MAN, spoken] She's lost her voice [The audience laughs.] [CARLOTTA, spoken] Mother! I can't sing! [CARLOTTA cries.] [ANDRÉ, spoken] Bring the curtain in, please, will you? Yes [REYER, spoken] Get off! [FIRMIN, spoken] Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize The performance will continue in ten minutes time When the role of the countess will be played by Miss Daaé Thank you [The audience applause.] [ANDRÉ, spoken] Meanwhile, we'd like to give you the ballet from Act Three of tonight's opera [Ballet music starts playing. A cat and mouse game begins between BUQUET and the PHANTOM on the top of the stage while the ballet takes place. The PHANTOM covers BUQUET's neck with a rope and throws him into the void, falling in the middle of the group of dancers, dying by hanging. The dancers and the audience scream.] [RAOUL, spoken] Are you alright? [CHRISTINE, spoken] Raoul, we're not safe here [FIRMIN, spoken] Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats Do not panic, it's simply an accident An accident

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Credits

Writers
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Charles Hart
  • Richard Stilgoe