Photoshopping My Sister’s Mugshot

Album cover art for "Photoshopping My Sister’s Mugshot" by Andrea Gibson

Andrea Gibson - Non-Music, Spoken Word

Photoshopping My Sister’s Mugshot

2 Plays

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Lyrics

Photoshopping my sister's mugshot i crop out the trailer and the splintered remains of the front door i crop out your name all over the news i crop out the sawed-off shotgun they found hidden in the yard i crop out the blood vacant faces of every soul who was sold to i crop out their families hunted hearts i rotate the image 'til you are upside down hanging from the monkey bars hollering my name Andrea look what i can do i zoom in so there is no lighter beneath the spoon just ice cream dripping from your lips and me trying to teach you how to blow out the candles the day you turned two years old your cheeks like pink balloons giggling away gravity i give more detail to the background i pose you beside our bloodline our grandfather thrown his liver through the kitchen window our grandmother on her knees sweeping up the glass I zoom in to the pieces she didn't find I find them in the sole of your shoes on your worst day of junior high there is a thin line between skewing the truth and giving a panoramic view I don't know if I am widening the lens or if I am just making an excuse when I say you were a kid the first time you used when I say you wanted blue hair and a boyfriend not a conscience that wouldn't have a good vein left not an abscess and the arm you would one day not hold your family with not me falling off the wagon of my unforgiveness running to the police station begging them to replace your photo with the negative the dark side in full light the filth hungry scream in your body every time you tried to get clean the clinic that told our mother you would die if she didn't send you back to the streets to find the poison to kill the bugs how I'd count your legs when you walked into a room how I still do but how that isn't the right exposure because you were also the kindest person I ever knew and that in itself has been its own dark room considering the ugliness is to scale considering our family tree and other isn't a person who loves you who isn't dead on the branch how loving you less might have been a sweetest gift I could have given my own life but how that sweetness would have rotted God's teeth when every Christmas morning you woke me at four am more excited for me to open my stocking than you were to open yours how do I say that to a judge and not sound insane how do I say the truth isn't the right filter the truth knows nothing of who you almost were but I do I do I just click a button I undo one tiny thing and there you are

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Credits

Writers
  • Andrea Gibson