Song Meaning
The narrator is locked in a cycle of self-recrimination and failed attempts at self-improvement. There's a palpable struggle to simply function, to "shut my mouth" and "sort it out," with a vague promise to "go to sleep" at a reasonable hour. This internal battle is framed by an external relationship, where the other person, Alex, wants to be "all by yourself," adding a layer of interpersonal friction to the narrator's own anxieties. The desire to "not care / About everything" highlights a deep exhaustion with the emotional weight they carry.
The core tension emerges when the narrator realizes their own coping mechanisms, their "shitty platitudes," are ineffective unless they create distance. The act of pulling away from the other person, Alex, is described with visceral pain: "ouch, fuck, it hurts." This self-inflicted wound, however, seems to be the only way the narrator can achieve a semblance of control, even if it means causing pain to Alex in return. It's a painful paradox where self-preservation necessitates hurting others.
The lyrics pivot on the idea of "attitude" as a controllable element, at least from Alex's perspective. The narrator directly addresses Alex, stating, "your attitude is always up to you." This suggests a frustration with Alex's own emotional state or behavior, contrasting it with the narrator's own overwhelming internal struggles. The final lines, "So try it out / All those things you say / About being good / Maybe you'll feel okay," seem to be a desperate, almost sarcastic, plea for Alex to take their own advice, perhaps projecting the narrator's own failed attempts at self-regulation onto their friend.