Goblins Ahoy!

Lyrics

[Spoken Intro] "Caw, caw" "Arr, a pirate, a goblin, and a priest walk into a bar" "A goblin, a goblin, a g-g-goblin" "I know, I'm getting to the part with the goblins." "No, no, no, captain, th-there be goblins" "Surprise" "Ahh" "Shiver me timbers." "I'll take your skin" "Caw" [Verse 1: Christopher Bowes] Sailing relaxed, endless blue Nowhere to go, nothing to do Running low on pirate brew Frightening shortage of wenches to screw A cryptic shadow on the horizon Set camp and explore, lest they should wizen The pirates unearth a mysterious grave Could this be the magical treasurе they crave? [Instrumental Break] [Spoken Verse: Christopher Bowes] And as the piratеs sailed onwards, towards certain doom, all they could think about was how wonderful it would be to pillage an uncharted island, for they had found an ancient map, buried deep within the sands of the grave The map read 'Goblin Island' [Verse 2: Elliot Vernon] Slice, slice, dice, dice Cutting the pirates into bite-sized portions of flesh La la la lala And then we'll feast on their brains for our meal Chomp, chomp, chomp And then we'll make funny hats from their skin Ripping and tearing We'll use their organs as toys [Verse 3: Christopher Bowes] The pirates drop anchor close to the shore Eager to find out what lies in store Camp is set up near the menacing mountains At midnight the necks turn to bloody fountains The goblins come out from their goblin caves Ready to make the intruders their slaves Psychotic war cry, green-skinned braves The skin is stripped from pirate knaves [Spoken Interlude: Christopher Bowes, Elliot Vernon] Yarr, that little green bastard stole my skin Who's got your skin now, you dirty pirate? [Verse 4: Christopher Bowes] Out of the dark, the goblins march One by one, through the goblin arch Ready to kill the sleeping foes To pluck off every one of their toes Slaughter begins, the mayhem unthinkable Pirate blood's especially drinkable Let's make jewelry out of their bones And break their jaws with tiny stones [Bridge: Elliot Vernon] La lala lala lala lalalalala lalalalala La, la, Lalalalalalala hey La lala lala lala lalalalala lalalalala La, la, Lalalalalalala hey [Instrumental Break] [Guitar Solo] [Bridge] La la lala la la la la la la la la La la lala la la la la la la la la la [Verse 4: Christopher Bowes] Looting and pillaging cut short by death The cold embrace of a goblin's breath Broken in half and stuffed into a chest By furious goblins with no need to rest Ripping and tearing, shredding the bastards Pirates are fast, but goblins are faster Bandits now slaves to ferocious green masters What once was a voyage is now a disaster La la la laa