Bad Bad News

Lyrics

[EDDIE] What is a man When he gives up his soul For a lick From a chick Who completely takes control? [MALCOLM, spoken] Tell the tale! [EDDIE] How does a man who can see behind his head Turn as blind as a bat with no eyes? [MALCOLM] What is a man? When he turns on his friends? We've been tossed Now we're lost Just a platter of burnt ends [EDDIE, spoken] I feel you [MALCOLM] How do we make Our hero wide awake So that he Can re- Alize? [MALCOLM & EDDIE] That girl is bad, bad news! Bad news! Nothing but tears Nothing but trouble Nothing but stress! Yeah, she is bad, bad news! Bad news! [EDDIE] Bad news! [MALCOLM & EDDIE] Our buddy Brett Is gonna regret That he ever said "Yes!" The girl may be hot But all that he's got Is bad, bad news [EDDIE] What do you do when your friend's life's at stake? [MALCOLM] Man, he's flipped [SIMON] No, he's whipped Like the cream on a cake [EDDIE] What can we say? [MALCOLM] He won't talk [SIMON] He won't play [MALCOLM, EDDIE & SIMON] How could one tongue destroy a whole team? [MALCOLM, EDDIE, SIMON & RICHIE] That girl is bad, bad news! Bad news! [SIMON] Oh, she's very bad news [RICHIE] She's like a snake! [EDDIE] She's like a cockroach! [SIMON] She's like a cow! A skinny cow! [ALL] Wow, she is bad, bad news! Bad news! [MALCOLM] Très bad! [ALL] We've been abandoned Left in the sand and Who are we now? He fell for a slut With a fabulous butt But she's bad, bad news [EDDIE, spoken] Perhaps there's a way we can "dispose" of her [MALCOLM, spoken] Maybe she can "meet with an accident"? [SIMON] We have got to make clear that she's not welcome here The most horrible way we can find [MALCOLM] We could go train a pit bull to chew on her flesh [EDDIE] I don't think they attack their own kind [RICHIE] We could torture her mother and chop up her dog [SIMON] To be honest, I don't think she'd mind! [EDDIE] I could rip off her pocketbook. Look, it's a start [MALCOLM] Drive a stake through her heart, if she just had a heart [ALL] The longer it goes, the worse it'll get! So somebody's gotta tell Brett! [RICHIE] Yeah! [MALCOLM, EDDIE & SIMON] That girl is bad, bad news! Bad news! [RICHIE] She's news of the bad persuasion! [MALCOLM, EDDIE & SIMON] She took our pal She took our leader And led him astray! Hey! Hey! [ALL] She's totally bad, bad news! Bad news! [EDDIE, riffing] Bad news! [MALCOLM, attempting to out-riff EDDIE] Bad news! [ALL] Listen up, Brett! You're not ruined yet! We'll show you the way! Throw her under the bus And come back to us! [MALCOLM] Even though she has excellent shoes... [ALL] She's bad, bad, bad, bad Bad, bad, bad, bad News! Bad news!