​survival meditation 2

Lyrics

Lately you've acquired these... dents Parts of yourself that your family would be ashamed of And probably are, because these aren't things you try to hide Not really And eventually it all takes over And you forget what it was like before Before her And the way you didn't even have to *static* Before the *static* against your trembling *static* And your hands try to figure out what to do with themselves Stupidly [?] [?] [?] and dark fabric [?] Before your *static* body trembling the way it does when everything is going so right But your mind keeps this pleasure a secret from the rest of your flesh So your body's afraid And excited And it doesn't know why Don't fool yourself You can't even recall There is nobody there Except in that town You were born gasping, writing on a Greyhound bus Careening down an unknown Interstate After twenty-five years of protracted gestation A black skirt, and a black hoodie Another passenger looks at you, like... whatever But they don't know, they never know You are uncomfortably familiar with the precise manner in which you will fall apart when you arrive in this big city Reach the door, process the visual Oh God Keeping it together for a little while [?] the pieces with nowhere to go Sitting on her bed Strewn across her bedroom floor and somebody sighs Something crawls inside your spine And That town Half a dozen years ago Early morning air outside the house she was taking care of A different person But the same sick pressure in your spine and stomach that you feel now That town Half a dozen years ago Getting ready to leave Remembering [???] with a torso sheathed in loose thick fabric Filling in, as you didn't know you wanted to be at the time That town Half a dozen years ago Trying to feel nothing in the morning outside And it's happening again It's happening again And I wish it only death I need to survive But you won't let me