The Birmingham Ho

Lyrics

[Intro] Okay Taxi! [Verse 1] I met this girl in a Birmingham taxi I got it first, but she slipped in before me Just as I was telling her, "Hey this is mine, ho" She already told the cab driver where to go Me I always show respect for the ladies I sat back and let her have it her way So good lord sees me through darkness and light I tell you what I remembered from that night [Verse 2] "I'm hungry, do you fancy a little something to eat? I can't go on forever on Cognac and weed" But she was already on the way down in the seat I tried to stop her, or maybe I didn't So there I was in a strange situation The chauffeur said "I can drop you off at the station" I said "No man, no don't I tell you when to stop keep your eyes on the road" [Chorus] You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? [Verse 3] Two hours later, she was still at it The driver had to refill gasoline and shit Baby baby, introduce yourself What's your name, girl? [Pre-Chorus] "My name is Fred" "Fred?" "Fred, yeah" "Fred, a what, a what did you say?" Now that put me back a bit 'cause I'm not gay Now that put me back a bit 'cause I'm not gay [Chorus] You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? [Verse 4] So whatever kind of trouble you might get yourself into Just think of me that night and what I went through I thought it was Helen or Marie or whatever, giving me head Until I realised it was this dude called Fred (Hello) [Refrain] And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey Take it away now [Verse 5] Hold on a minute, that's bullshit You told me it was a microphone And you wanted me to sing in it I have a lot of friends and I do lots of things for them I don't think it's me, I think it's you that have a problem So zip up and try to be a gentleman I have feelings too and I don't need you to hurt them So zip up and try to be a gentleman So zip up and try to be a gentleman [Chorus] You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay? [Refrain] And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey Ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey...