Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun

Lyrics

LORD ADALBERT: When you're lookin' down the barrel of a gun It concentrates the mind completely And suddenly,you'llfind A love forhuman kind That makes you look uponthe world More sweetly When all at once, it seems your lifeisdone Yourecognize it allgoes by sofleetly There's so much left to do Except, of course, for you When you're lookin' down the barrel of a gun When you're lookin' down the barrel of a gun SERVANTS: Down the gun LORD ADALBERT: And the barrel looks right back at you demurely SERVANTS: Demurely LORD ADALBERT: With an eye that seems to say "Perhaps you ought to pray" So sorry that you're dyin' prematurely You're grateful that you had your share of fun SERVANTS: He's had his fun LORD ADALBERT: Though you suppose You might have lived your life more purely It's ludicrous to care It's neither here nor there When you're starin' down the barrel of a gun Oh Lord, is this really your intention? Aren't men like me in short supply? Oh Lord, I could use your intervention This cannot be the way I'm meant to die Do you really want to see my cry? LADY EUGENIA: (spoken) Get up at once! You're making a spectacle of yourself! LORD ADALBERT: (spoken) Eugenia, put down the gun. Please, I know I talk of good game, bravery, and courage, God save the queen and all that, but I- I really don't want to die! I really, really don't! Don't you know, I've loved you like a son? SERVANTS: Like a son LORD ADALBERT: And I do not meant to say this impolitely Considering the view I'd rather it was you Lookin' down the barrel of a gun Lookin' down the barrel of a— SERVANTS: Barrel of a... LORD ADALBERT: (*chokes*) EUGENIA: (spoken) Oh for heaven's sake! Get up you old goat! Adalbert! Adalbert? (*gasps*) Adalbert!! MONTY: (spoken) What? ALL: ...gun!