Straight Suicidal

Lyrics

[Verse] I just wanna die, so I can hold nobody back I wanna kill myself 'cause none of ya'll understand Death is the only thing I still feel 'til this day Why should a quiet child, in mild denial be this way? I should put the Wesson to my head and send myself straight to Heaven So my mother doesn't worry about my presence Anymore, I wanna learn my own lesson Suicide's the best choice, blessed with poison, point me at death Disappointed in me, yes, left alone by all sides I wonder, if I should give up this life of my mine Nothin' but hurt and pain combined, I wish my time can run out I wish somebody can finally can manage to gun me down Stress-free, everybody agree that I'm worthless I deserve to be reserved in a grave, and served to Death on a silver platter, so the barrel stands still Against my temple, death monumental in my plan, for real Those that struck my core and left my heart broken hate me And that's more than half the people that I know daily I'm meaningless, I can't wait 'til the bullet passes Flashes of my body draped on the fuckin' pavement Throw a parade when I hang myself Laugh and crack jokes, so all your folks look past my struggle Final thoughts runnin' through my mind as I'm cryin' tears I cower out with suicide so I can run away from fear The damage that I've managed to have inside, relies In the hands of the nigga who takes my life I'm tired and sick of it, mind is ridiculous, sickenin' Wishin' for somebody to kill me with a blunt object Or any choice of weapon, rejoice my death, not my livin' Everybody's better off with me, in my opinion Just another nigga dead by his own gun It's the thought of everybody not givin' a fuck about him I don't want nobody mourning at my funeral Everybody close to me can go and show kudos To God himself, for letting me leave Earth early I don't wanna be a burden or a fuckin' people person I wanna tell him why I can't stand my life All the hurt I received and achieved in my time The so-called gifted vision everybody visits Is not my kinda thing, I wanna walk toward the white lighting Dead in the dirt, or the ash in the urn I don't wanna anybody lookin' up to me as worthy I wanna leave this place, complete my mean mistakes and forget them All this family, rules and girlfriends'll cause whirlwinds Depression I'm edgin' to get a knife from the kitchen And stitchin' my skin with it 'til the vision in my eye leaves I wanna meet God and sob on his shoulder Say that I couldn't make it, and failed him, impatient quota Say I was strained in my bane, and couldn't take it seriously I might just run in front of a truck, and get stuck Or maybe a knife to the wrist, fixed by my own touch I close my eye-lids, as I pile in visions of murder My body on the concrete, blood flooded all over And you know, I'm alone with my own thought I'll always have that feeling of being simply distraught I'm suicidal