Candy Land

Lyrics

[Intro: Violent J] "And I say, the more candy, the merrier, so fuck Mom and Dad. And now, boys and girls, I hope you're ready for a wondrous adventure into a world full of lots and lots of candy." [Verse 1: Violent J] Throwâ your hands up, clap twice, then stomp It'sâ me and Grandma Nut in the molasses swamp I'm seein' waterfalls pourin' up chocolate s'mores I left that bitch floatin' and hit the peppermint forest Lollipopâ trees all in the gumdrop mountains Thereâ I saw Jolly Molly sittin' on a nut pop She told me she was lookin' for the Kool-Aid man 'Causeâ he stuck his Tootsie Roll in her fillin' hole and ran I didn't give a damn, I bit her head off vicious That rich nougat cookie dough ho is delicious Now the gingerbread people pimp the popsicle pops Andâ sell sugarcane to donuts and lemon drops Here it rains Tic Tacs and snows ice cream scoops And fools get shot up with peanuts and fuckin' dunked into goop So bring your sweet tooth, bitch, I'ma coat it in pain And all you sugar-free flakes ain't the same, I'm talkin' 'bout [Chorus: Violent J] Candy Land, Candy Land Let's make a run for Candy Land Candy Land, Candy Land Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man Candy Land, Candy Land Let's make a run for Candy Land Candy Land, Candy Land Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man [Verse 2: Esham] Chocolate chip sugar dipped with the wax lips Red Faygo or some barbecue chips I need some powdered sugar or a sweet and sour booger Laffy Taffy, I'm your pappy, you my sugar dooga Boston baked beans lemon head jolly rancher Goin' all gummy, down your throat like a tarantula Call me Spider-Man, my web's all in your hair I'm in my gingerbread house gettin' gingerbread I'm getting paper, Now and Later pineapple grape Cherry watermelon strawberry all day Mango and cream seem like a dream Yellow gumdrops fell down on me The cotton candy blue Kool-Aid sky The sun looked like a big lemon head sayin' "hi" Was I high? I was high, no lie I'll catch you next time in Candy Land again, bye bye [Chorus: Violent J] Candy Land, Candy Land Let's make a run for Candy Land Candy Land, Candy Land Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man Candy Land, Candy Land Let's make a run for Candy Land Candy Land, Candy Land Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man [Bridge: Violent J & Esham] And it's, ooh, delicious Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious And it's, ooh, delicious Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious [Verse 3: Violent J & Esham] Well it's me and Mr. Mint on his spearmint boat With some caramel bunnies in a root beer float And if you think i'm ever going back, you must have and an empty center You meatloafs, do not enter, this is Candy Land Blueberry jawbreaker, candy land law breaker Like taking candy from a baby, I'm the candy taker Marshmallow lemon drop jelly beans And a pair of salty nuts for all you sugar fiends [Bridge: Violent J & Esham] And it's, ooh, delicious Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious And it's, ooh, delicious Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious [Chorus: Violent J] Candy Land, Candy Land Let's make a run for Candy Land Candy Land, Candy Land Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man Candy Land, Candy Land Let's make a run for Candy Land Candy Land, Candy Land Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man [Outro: Violent J] "Yummy and delicious, a wide variety of sugar coated-artificial colorings, mmm. Tell mom and dad you want some candy, a great way to rot your mouth out."