You Have to Do What You Do Do

Lyrics

[CELLINI] In Naples one night a wandering gypsy After three or four bottles too many grew tipsy On the Secret of Secrets she let down the bars And told me what really is written in the stars [DUKE] I don't know where this is going to go But a tipsy gypsy told him so [ENSEMBLE] A gypsy let down the bars And told him what's really in the stars [CELLINI] You will offer your apology When you hear the new astrology [ENSEMBLE, spoken] The new astrology! [CELLINI] No matter under what sign you're born If you're a Virgo, or Capricorn Whatever you do from morn to morn You have to do what you do do! No matter under what sign you're starred It doesn't help you to be on guard You're always hoist on your own petard And have to do what you do do! [ENSEMBLE] What does he mean With this routine That comes like bolts from the blue do? [CELLINI] You have to do what you do do! 'Tisn't up to you at all We all live under a hoodoo 'Til you hear the trumpet call In this life, what else can you do? In this life we're pawns in a game If you have to do what you do do Whatever you do, you're not to blame [ENSEMBLE, CELLINI] What does he mean In this life, what else can you do? With this routine? In this life we're pawns in a game [CELLINI & ENSEMBLE] If you have to do what you do do Whatever you do, you're not to blame [CELLINI] Was Plato to blame for being Platonic? Or Babylon for being Babylonic? Was Caesar to blame for being Caesarean? Or the people for being proletarian? Was Nero to blame for being destructive? Or the Queen of Sheba for being seductive? Was Helen of Troy to blame for the Trojan Horse? No, no! My friends, 'twas a greater force! And so by the shades of Pluto Am I to blame for acting like Benvenuto? [CELLINI & ENSEMBLE] You have to do what you do do! 'Tisn't up to you at all We all live under a do do 'Til you hear the trumpet call [CELLINI] In this life, what else can you do? In this life we are pawns in a game! [CELLINI & ENSEMBLE] If you have to do what you do do [ENSEMBLE] Whatever you do Whatever you do Whatever you do Whatever you do [CELLINI] Whatever you do [CELLINI & ENSEMBLE] You're not to blame! [DUKE, spoken] I like it! Nobody is to blame for anything.  [NARRATOR, spoken] The Duke is pleased with Ben's surmise And tries the theory on for size [DUKE] I am not to blame Thou art not to blame He is not to blame We are not to blame You are not to blame They are not to blame [DUKE] Nobody [ENSEMBLE] Nobody [DUKE] Nobody [ENSEMBLE] Nobody [DUKE & ENSEMBLE] Nobody is to blame [DUKE] You have to do what you do do Isn't up to you at all [ENSEMBLE] We all live under a hoodoo 'Til you hear the trumpet call [CELLINI] Whatever your station, whatever your name Whatever you do do, you're never to blame [CELLINI & ENSEMBLE] You have to do what you do do Is the fact that I/we proclaim [DUKE] You may think that you do Whatever you do do But there is a hoodoo That's running the game [CELLINI] No matter whatever You do do endeavor I'm here to assever That— [CELLINI & ENSEMBLE] Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody Nobody is to blame! [NARRATOR, spoken] The trial's gone well, the courtroom cheers But then a nasty man appears A man who wants Cellini's head And also wants the dud Duke dead Ottaviano is his name And bloody treason is his game He's really nasty, thoroughly vile And tries to rig Cellini's trial [OTTAVIANO, spoken] Will you take the word of this cutthroat against mine? [DUKE, spoken] Don't think that of me. I'm just listening to please my wife.  [DUCHESS, spoken] Have you forgotten what happened three years ago? [DUKE, spoken] Of course I have! You know very well I can't remember five minutes back.  [OTTAVIANO, spoken] My lord, you must hang Cellini, or you must hang me. In the name of our family, which will you hang? [DUKE, spoken] Well, Cellini naturally, but still... [OTTAVIANO, spoken] Let him produce a witness to his story.  [DUKE, spoken] Can you? [CELLINI, spoken] No, we were alone, my lord.  [DUKE, spoken] Too bad. You should always have a witness. They often come in handy.