Dresden Northwest Mounted

Lyrics

[BAUER] All the crooks that I am after They will never know from laughter When I really start to use this brain of mine Let me tackle Dr. Jekyll His life won't be worth a shekel And that goes for Dracula and Frankenstein As a bloodhound I'm a wizard I'm as sneaky as a lizard When I'm after someone who should be in jail It is "Deutschland über alles" It's as good as Edgar Wallace When the Dresden cops are sniffing on the trail [COPS] We're the Dresden Northwеst Mounted And we always get our man If wе can When our miracles are counted Sherlock Holmes was just an also-ran [BAUER] Once I ran to catch a burglar, but I didn't have a chance 'Til he started breathing heavy and I caught him by the pants [COPS] We're the Dresden Northwest Mounted And we always get our man If we can! [GOLO, spoken] Now does everybody understand the plan? Gita will fire three shots into the air During the commotion, the rest of you will steal the wedding gifts And then I'll appear on the scene Kidnap the bride, and hold her for ransom Places, everyone Gita, go to it [GITA fires three gunshots.] [BAUER, spoken] What was that? [MAN, spoken] It's the robbers, sir They're stealing the wedding presents [BAUER, spoken] Quick, after them, men [COPS] We're the Dresden Northwest Mounted And we always get our man If we can When our miracles are counted Sherlock Holmes was just an also-ran [BAUER] Once a robber stole my staircase but it didn't hurt my rep For I dressed up like a Russian and I caught him on the steppe [COPS] We're the Dresden Northwest Mounted And we always get our man— [Car heard driving away.] If we can! [GOLO/MICHAEL, spoken] Hello [ILSE, spoken] Did you hear those shots? What were they? [GOLO/MICHAEL, spoken] Oh, just some people celebrating the marriage [ILSE, spoken] Oh, those dreadful guests They're driving me crazy Darling, why don't you take me away now Before that terrible crowd comes back? [GOLO/MICHAEL, spoken] Take you away? [ILSE, spoken] It's our one chance to elope Don't you see? [GOLO/MICHAEL, spoken] Oh, of course, but, um— [ILSE, spoken] Don't you want to? [GOLO/MICHAEL, spoken] Oh, of course I do, Anna [ILSE, spoken] Anna? [GOLO/MICHAEL, spoken] No, I meant I love you, and I want to make you happy [ILSE, spoken] Oh, darling, let's hurry [Sound of a gate closing.] [BAUER, spoken] What was that? [MAN, spoken] It's your daughter, sir She and Michael have run off to the boathouse [BAUER, spoken] Quick, after them, men [COPS] We're the Dresden Northwest Mounted And we always get our man If we— When our miracles are counted Sherlock Holmes was just an also-ran [BAUER] When they stole the Mona Lisa from the Louvre in Paris I would like to have you tell me what that has to do with me? [COPS] We're the Dresden Northwest Mounted And we always get our man [Another car heard driving away.] If we can!