Finaletto Act II

Lyrics

[FLETCHER, spoken] What's the matter? What's all the racket? [JIM, spoken] Take a look at those [FLETCHER, spoken] Oh, what are they? [JIM, spoken] They're buttons off the American soldiers' uniforms And they were found on Sloane [SLOANE, spoken] He's lying [JOAN] Jim, consider what you are doing Jim, his reputation's at stake [HOLMES] What is all this mess that you're brewing? [SLOANE] He's a troublemaker we must break [FLETCHER] Take him to the guardhouse, this impetuous youth [JIM] I say you'll be sorry when you learn the truth All about the buttons and the milk that's cut [FLETCHER] Take him to the guardhouse—He's a Grade B nut [ENSEMBLE] Crazy talk of buttons and of milk—Grade B Just a traitor to the U.S.A. is he [A DISTANT VOICE] Yo-do-lay-ee-oo [Sounds of gunfire in the distance.] [ENSEMBLE] What's that? What's that? A wheel gone flat? What's that? What's that? It sounds like shooting grand and glorious It sounds like cannon shooting grand and glorious Well, if it is we're sure to be victorious We know that when our boys begin admonishing They get results that really are astonishing It sounds like cannon shooting grand and glorious— [SPELVIN, spoken] We met the enemy and we are theirs [ENSEMBLE, spoken] What? [SPELVIN, spoken] Uh, they are ours [SPELVIN] There were we, way up in an Alp [SOLDIERS] Up in an Alp, up in an Alp [SPELVIN] Out to get the enemy scalp [SOLDIERS] Get the enemy scalp [SPELVIN] I told my men to hide [SOLDIERS] We scattered far and wide [SPELVIN] Soon as I saw I was alone [SOLDIERS] He was alone, he was alone [SPELVIN, spoken] I cleared my throat, tightened my belt Pointed my gun, and let out a yodel [SPELVIN] Yo-do-deedle-lay-ee-oo [SPELVIN, spoken] And then I waited The Swiss thought it must be their general They came running to me But my men were on the job The Swiss were surrounded A yodel won the war! [ENSEMBLE, spoken] Hooray! [ENSEMBLE] He's won the day Hip, hip, hooray He's won the day Hip, hip, hooray [SPELVIN] My friends, if from the bonds of war we're free Please do not give the credit all to me There was a mastermind who planned The strategy that saved our land And oh, my friends, the mastermind is—he! [SPELVIN points to JIM.] [ENSEMBLE, spoken] What? [JOAN, spoken] Jim? [ENSEMBLE] Ha ha, we laugh Ho ho, you chaff The fatted calf Will never go to one so villainous How you jest He's just a pest A prison guest Please stop your joking, you are killin' us [SPELVIN, spoken] The man who told me how to win—is he! [This time, they rush to JIM.] [ENSEMBLE, spoken] Hooray! [ENSEMBLE] He won the war Hip, hip, hooray [SPELVIN] Now an encore [ENSEMBLE] Hip, hip, hooray [FLETCHER] To me the whole thing is incomprehensible [SLOANE] They'd start to string him up, if they were sensible [ENSEMBLE] He won the war Hip, hip, hooray! Let the drums roll out Let the trumpets call While the people shout "Strike up the band" Hear the cymbals ring Calling one and all To the martial swing Strike up the band [FLETCHER, spoken] Hooray! The war is over and we win [HOLMES, spoken] This means your bonds will go way up [FLETCHER, spoken] You bet they will [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] What's all this about bonds? [ANNE, spoken] Hey, hey! [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] I haven't any bonds I'm a poor woman [ANNE, spoken] There it goes [HOLMES, spoken] Poor? [FLETCHER, spoken] Did she say poor? [HOLMES, spoken] Uh huh [MRS. DRAPER, spoken] Wait! [ANNE, spoken] Just a couple of happy girls [JOAN, spoken] He's a hero, Anne And a hero's got so many to pick from [ANNE, spoken] What do you say we shoot each other? [JOAN] I knew he'd come along The one I love Though everything went wrong With one I love I'll still keep dreaming of The one and only man I love